breakfast geode

take it from a cat: smell familiar objects each time you're confronted with them

reading soul caliber while I wait on my pasta water to boil. reading about Lizardman. reading about what Lizardman's sword's name is

I admire a man who wants to be president in order to bring about the end of days

@moefeministdog there are people who believe capitalist hegemony is a plot by evil digimon

I gave up the triforce and my fairy left me and I don't even have a sword that I like anymore and I can't even act like myself around people

one time my mom asked me if I liked mumford and sons, because they're "smoke a joint music"

@aliendovecote people would be much friendlier if everyone in the world had to stare at the same gem every couple of hours

burgs were considered sandwiches until it stopped being convenient for fast food to market them as such. follow the money

all the looney tunes are haters pretty much

[12:48:13 AM] connor: I liked dinosaurs as kid
[12:48:26 AM] Sam: I can't remember what I liked
[12:48:28 AM] Sam: coins?

people think I have some kind of mystical connection to cats but I just know cat body language better than any of my friends

tiny animals love me and I love them

I just wrote six hundred words about knuckles the echidna and I can't wait to post them on the internet

@lavosxii okay so last night when there were two sams, and one said "build a hexagon around me", and I shot the other one, was that wrong

gee fred I would love to watch baseball with you but I'm already lying down on this bigass rock

dear national geographic channel please continue to show people touching electric eels and hooting a bunch your friend connor

have you ever played this game, magic the gathering? I mean, WHAT are they GATHERING? hole punches on free sandwich cards? right?

the later I go to bed the more likely it is that in n out will be open when i wake up

I get mad when sam favs different jokes than I thought he would, much like ppl whose cats don't like the cat food that sounds better to them