@goodballs Don't leave us Ephie!!

In fact, fuck us. In fact, fuck him. Have some good fucking fun. But make sure you bring back vodka.

Happy Birthday Ephie! @goodballs

And good luck with your new gig!

LOVE YA!

Right after the season premiere of Cheers! @evanrhorne, do I need to send @goodballs a dick pic, or we good? @3_upp lookin forward to it!

Welcome @goodballs to the @3_upp hosting chair starting on the 21st! Our guest will be @mrtruthandsoul

@goodballs Hey Ephie, Twitter told me you were similar to me, so what's up???👊💥👊💥😊🍀

Welcome @goodballs to the show.

You know you love it.

@goodballs omg u r like an alien monster from heaven and I just wanna be the man

If you get married, choose someone who wants different things than you do. That way, the division of assets at your divorce goes smoothly.

Congrats @goodballs! @justmug picked your tweet as the "NO NONSENSE" tweet of the day!

 https://twitter.com/goodballs/status/332977235977990144 …

The hornier you behave the less likely you are to be getting any.

There is plenty of food to feed the planet. It's international economic terrorism that has left people too impoverished to buy it.

This party needs more flute.

I asked a guy why he kept staring tonight and judging if he is only 5 foot four inches tall and he walked away. Bless me.

@ilovepie84 @goodballs you forgot spiders that jump on your back.

Congrats on 10K @shittycomedian I saw glitter shoot out of someone's ass, was it you?

@gavinpivott @goodballs hey maybe you should have told me you wanted one and I would have hugged you then ok

@goodballs I know...fak...should be at least 98.5% marshmallows.

You know... Fucking pieces of shit who have amounted to nothing (other than amassing followers) and feel the need to dole out advice.

@goodballs Psh, mine was 2 days ago. How about we high-five and call it good?

I watched a non kid's movie for the first time in months.

I'll be smoking behind the dumpsters with the other bad asses if you need me