Only lives once. Doesn't tell everyone.

Sees you parked in handicapped spot, breaks your leg so that you don't get into trouble.

Friendzoned, appreciates the friendship.

#ImSingleBecause they friendzone the good guys and chase scumbags.

Goes to the gym, keeps it to himself.

Scores on you on FIFA 12, skips the replay.

Goes to grocery store, puts the stuff he doesn't want back in the right spot.

Has 6 Pokemon, doesn't catch anymore so that no other pokemon's to be left alone.

Tells his girlfriend to get in the kitchen, so she can see the meal he made for her.

Sees you rollin', isn't hatin'.

Helps chicken cross the road, doesn't ask why.

Invites you to his van, actually has candy.

Has to pee, gets out of the swimming pool.

Has a girlfriend, makes his own sandwiches.

Meets The Rock, smells what he's cooking.

Accidentally gets your bill in his mailbox, pays it anyway.

October 1st, wakes up Green Day.

Keeps calm and doesn't overuse a slogan.

Can't have kids, adopts @badluck_brian.

Just met you and thinks it's crazy, doesn't ask you to call him maybe.