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Big love to everyone who was nice to me and liked my tweets. Kiss my arse to all the monsters.
Time to go! It's been grand.
My signature move is vagina.
My kid just asked me for the "deets" of something so I've sent him away to live with some traveling carnival family.
DON'T RIDE IN HOT AIR BALLOONS PEOPLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I feel so bad for not following you back quickly enough. Please give me another chance and FUCK YOU.
I love having sex. The best thing is the having it part. And the sex part.
I don't mind being the beauty and the brains in this relationship. You can be the cock.
This tweet is legitimate.
I need about 2,000 new followers asap! Do I buy them or star and RT lots of shitty tweets I don't even read?
How do I say "shut the fuck up you little shit" to my 8yo without him getting all huffy about it?
The shit's really hitting the fan here today. Some of you need to grow up and others should go straight to fuck you.
It's okay that my Twitter crush doesn't want a pretend relationship with me. I can do this without him.
It's okay. I'm rhetorical.
Stupid rape joke = unfollow
My ex told me his goal is to run a 4 minute mile. This is the stuff heart attacks are made of! Sweet dreams, heart attacks. Whatever.
I'm really just a soft touch. When all I see is people being mean to each other I don't want to be here anymore. :(
My top 5 favourite bands of all time are: WHADDAYA MEAN YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!
My father-in-law has more regard for his dog than he does his own grandson's welfare. I hope that fucking dog eats him one day.