Have said it before, will say it again: Civil rights should not be a matter of popular vote. Period.

You guys. My son. I don't. You guys. pic.twitter.com/QaTJPXE2N1

Lady in Chipotle asking her 6YO in a awful baby voice ARE YOU DONE DONE WITH YOUR TUM TUM YUM YUMS: You are why regular people hate parents.

The best part of home is depantsing.

Women who don't cook....don't cook. And that's that.

Oh, republicans. If your takeaway from this election cycle is that your party wasn't conservative ENOUGH, you're really missing the point.

My tummy looks kind of like an empty ballsac and this is the shit they don't warn you about before you have children.

"I WASN'T going to have sex with my boyfriend, but because I have Plan B & an HPV vax, let the fucking commence." -No teenager, ever.

Listen. I have a degree in linguistics and there is just no way 'oeh' makes a long 'a' sound. Your name is Boner.

So many reasons I can never be president! Racy pictures, sketchy family, no church affiliation, past reliance on social services, vagina....

I don't want to tell you guys how long I spent doing this. I DREW IT MYSELF. Also, bras. They suck: http://is.gd/ZSx1mI

iF YoU wRiTe LiKe ThIs? YoU DoN't DeSeRvE tHe InTeRnEt.

So this bad thing happened to my best friend. And she is very brave. http://t.co/f4jO0hQs

I wish there was a 'follow because of social pressure to do so but hide from twitter stream forever because actually I hate you' option.

Dudes: if you've ever had sex with a lady, the chances are pretty high that you should donate to Planned Parenthood. Debt of gratitude.

I'm only ever interested in liquid fasting bullshit if your liquids include coffee and liquor.

Apparently the year I turn 30 is the year I get addicted to glitter nail polish and inappropriate minidresses.

I need to sell my #BlogHer11 student rate conference pass. Any takers? RT?

Fuck yeah America.

If you don't wanna marry someone of the same gender, don't. If you don't like abortions, don't get one. There, that was easy.