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I follow some fucked up people on Twitter. I really do. And they make my life better!
I find new people to follow from all of your retweets. I'm too lazy to troll your following lists.
Men, it's ok to go upstairs first or walk in front of us. We like looking at your asses too.
Yes, I shamelessly exploit feminism to find an excuse to drink.
I'm watching a movie called "Jason Statham runs around and will probably be topless at some point." That's the only title I need.
There should be an alcohol fairy who just shows up on my back porch when summoned.
My subtweets would be more effective if the person they're aimed at was on Twitter.
I love it when someone tweets something sexy. I almost feel like I'm not in sweatpants and a huge sweater on the couch.
Apparently women should act their age. Come over here, I'll show you my age.
It's amazing how sexy an admiring glance can make a person feel.
Apparently I can't chug 14% beer. In related news, someone should pick me up off the floor.
I can't keep track of the stuff I tweet. Kudos to all of you who know when your tweets are stolen!
I feel it's very important to eat healthy food, so I always have a salad with my first beer of the morning.
I want a naughty boy to play with.
Star Wars Robot Chicken never, ever gets old.
Note to self: "Good night" means "Close Twitter and go to bed now!"
My twitter crush disappeared. I need to work on that whole flirting and snagging thing I'm so bad at.
Every time I start to do something else, my unread tweet notifier pops up, so I stop to read them. It's time to admit I have a problem.
Sex with furniture. What do you think?
I like sliding my tongue up the hole in the middle.
I don't DM. Mildly NSFW. Snarky and jaded except for anything involving puppies and panda bears. FetLife: gracefulrain