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Settling into my golden years already by starting most of my sentences with "Did I ever tell you the story of..."
I'm strangely fine with being a loser train wreck cos I'll leave behind a legacy of fun stories.
I like to get to know people by making out with complete strangers at the bar.
I'm like, y'know, a people person.
I've reached the "Gawd, why in the FUCK did I do THAT" portion of my hangover.
Sometimes I'm pure class by getting totally wasted and groping gogo dancers without tipping.
It feels like deja-vu until I realize it's just me continuing to be a fuck-up at life.
Spontaneity is the spice of life, but may lead to a little diarrhea sometimes.
Blacked things out but for some reason retained the memory of a discussion about the evils of considering the purchase of a Smart car.
Sometimes I think things and then say to myself, "Jeepers, you're quite a terrible person."
And then there's you guys...
I dunno if he's that into me. He only texted me for like 5 hours today.
What's the word for when you're falling for someone while simultaneously still hurting over someone else?
Oh yeah, stupid.
Uncomfortable silence between me & Rob Estes which later turns out to be just my tv on pause.
Having a wine rack & having it fully stocked is the kind of togetherness I'm striving for.
Drunk at Target is not how I expected to describe my afternoons in my 30s...BUT HERE WE ARE.
An international man of mystery with a constant yearning to boogie down.