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Sometimes I swallow mints because I forget they're not drugs and I'm a fucking mess.
I want to be having the kind of day you're having, random guy chuckling out loud to himself.
The default wallpaper on the desktop of my life is a stock photo of me rolling my eyes.
Watching people go to their safe place as they ride a crowded elevator adds joy to my life.
That pain on my ass as a playful reminder he likes to bite.
Sometimes I swallow mints in the hopes it will produce minty farts.
Pressing all the correct buttons at the gas pump is all the level of challenge I can handle today.
If you can't handle Whiskey, you can't handle Duane Barry.
Just kidding, let's totes go out & party ;)
It's when the bf's hangover is worse than mine that I start feeling better.
Looking forward to disappointing the masses today.
His face may be what attracted me initially, but it's the way he makes me smile that keeps me hooked.
Sex. Sex is behind that smile.
Sharing my bed with the bf is pretty awesome cos I get the edge all to myself.
BRB, I gotta get jabby for a sec.
The lighting scheme in my apartment is designed around a theme of despair to match my scowl.
An international man of mystery with a constant yearning to boogie down.