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I'm afraid the only insight I have to offer today is that literally everything & everyone you know will die.
And red velvet cupcakes rock.👍
Kinda always worried I'm not wearing the right shoes for any unexpected dance-offs.
Keeping things fresh by incorporating more finger snapping in my entrances and exits.
Hope I haven't used up all my heavy sighing for today.
I didn't make it this far into my adulthood by answering phone calls.
Being the bigger person hurts more because you're able to handle more.
Really wondering if all that's missing from my life is just a really good hype-man.
I find it hard to believe we've managed to continue on as a species while continuing to use fax technology.
The only way I know how to relate to people is by walking away when they start talking to me.
I'm not sure if I consider myself a hungry lush or a thirsty glutton.
I'll just shrug and let history decide.
When guys call before even meeting, I'm all, "THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK."
I'm 2 for 2 with friends who don't know what a taint is and I'm cool with finding some new friends.
At this point in life, I no longer question the why or how of random food stains on my clothing.
Y'know how some people can't put their phone down no matter what they're doing?
That seems to be me and this here mcgriddle sandwich rn. 😳
I long for the amazing adult relationship we never had cos you left us when we were still dumb kids.
An international man of mystery with a constant yearning to boogie down.