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Really wondering if having really cool bangs would solve all my problems.
I guess I'm just glad we got another dialogue going about Madonna and the risks of fabulous accessories.
I'm not math, but you can always count on me.
I just want to die already so I can reincarnate and fuck up my youth like 20 more times.
Sure I can flip my kitchen calendar to the current month, but I'm just not ready to fake that kind of togetherness.
"I'm so sorry for the smell and/or mess. I'm a single bachelor & I'm prone to giving up on life," is how I greet/warn any incoming guests.
The future seemed so much brighter when I remembered to pay my electricity bill on time.
Previously, on "Wait, why haven't you died yet?..."
I haven't paid the price for wearing overalls in the 90s with 1 strap unbuckled, but I will.
Today is like the slowest day of the slowest week.
It's the sloworst.
Your dog is the only thing I miss about you.
I hilariously photobombed some people once. We all laughed but I just wanted them to get confused & think I was part of their group forever.
An international man of mystery with a constant yearning to boogie down.
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