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I really live on the edge by risking whiplash from violently flipping my hair at every possible opportunity.
I'm longing less....less. It's still there, but as long as I keep ignoring, it will slowly die like a muffled child longing for love.
When posing for pictures, my smile is "find the lens and try not to look so dead inside."
1 of the best things about living in a world famous city is having the busiest streets closed during rush hour for red carpet events. 😎💥🔫🚛🚗🚕
When life gets you down, remember that you'll die some day and then literally nothing will matter. There's that to look forward to.
When dressing for dates, I try to achieve a look that says, "casual/low maintenance, you want to sleep with me."
If I could just get the parking attendant broad at work to like not hate me, then all will have been accomplished.
Life is too short to take chances on disappointing burgers.
The best April Fools joke was when my mom told me my dad came to visit and I ran to the living room to discover he was still gone forever.
Tried meditating to gain focus & clarity of thought and just ended up thinking about different outfits I would look cute in.
Lackadaisically rolling up my sleeves in public makes me feel like such a whore.
Get at these forearms, victorian perverts. 👀
Not sure where the glitter on my hand came from but it's appropriate. Makes my gestures more pronounced.
More RL friends would be cool but it's just so hard to find people you want to get wasted with who won't get on your nerves.
There's no real cool way to recover after missing the arm in your sweater on the first attempt.
I'm not a doctor nor a surgeon, but I'm pretty sure hyphens make things better.
"I could care less."
-Things that make me cringe and want to slap people. I'm a gawd damn Mother Teresa cos I let it go.
An international man of mystery with a constant yearning to boogie down.
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