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I hate when people in social media call themselves "ninjas". I don't call myself an insurance software warlock because that's not a thing.
"He had kissed a woman. And he had kissed her long and good."
I can't believe it took me 26 years to start eating yogurt.
Well, that asteroid didn't hit us.
It's a good thing that I have Christmas music as my ringtone now.
Trick-or-treater quote of the night: "I told you this was the jackpot!" This is why we give out full-size candy on Halloween.
I drove a bear in a suit to the office today.
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