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well son, your mother would make jokes on Twitter dot com and I would respond to them in a weird and intrusive way, and the rest is history
we did it you guys. we watched the whole thing
sext: your Tetris block body falls into mine. there is not 1 pixel between us. we flicker with glorious completion and disappear forever
pony bro culture only exists because girls' entertainment is considered "lesser" by default and needs to be heightened by male enjoyment
when is technology going to stop trying to get me to speak out loud to it. I'm never going to do that
in hell they make you read all the @ replies to women's funny sex-related tweets
"I'd bang her" and "I'd never bang her" are both elaborately constructed fantasies where the speaker has been given a choice
Michelle Bachmann is like if you destroyed Sarah Palin, but then the debris began to laugh and they reformed into something more horrible.
orphaned as a child, he was raised by memes. this is Bacon Failboat Catbeard's story of epic awesome feels
if you find yourself annoyed by "feels" and "i don't even" just remember people on the internet used to say things like "teh winz0rs"
*sees a dog* *slowly turns head wide-eyed to life's 4th wall* A DOG
call me Old Timey but when i have a crush on someone I put vague song lyrics in my AIM profile and say nothing and agonize over it for years
what if leo drew kate but he made her look anime
#PositiveYoMommaJokes yo momma so dumb she fails to grasp much of the fundamental cruelty of life and has never been depressed
no, I don't "wish I was beyonce". I just wish I looked and dressed and sang and danced like her and everyone called me beyonce
I'll just stop at home for a few *takes off shoes* I'll call people in a bit *changes into pjs* tonight's got potential *is in bed*
when a dude touches me in conversation it sets off something primal in me: the suspicion that he read a book about dating
back from dentist -- the entire front of my mouth is numbed!! gonna go kiss someone and feel nothing! right after the numbness wears off.
RT if you fucking love dogs
Cartoon lady. You don't wanna get mixed up with me. Writing & drawing Octopus Pie and Adventure Time: Marceline and the Scream Queens. Heidi is my dog.