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well son, your mother would make jokes on Twitter dot com and I would respond to them in a weird and intrusive way, and the rest is history
"I'd bang her" and "I'd never bang her" are both elaborately constructed fantasies where the speaker has been given a choice
*sees a dog* *slowly turns head wide-eyed to life's 4th wall* A DOG
we did it you guys. we watched the whole thing
sext: your Tetris block body falls into mine. there is not 1 pixel between us. we flicker with glorious completion and disappear forever
pony bro culture only exists because girls' entertainment is considered "lesser" by default and needs to be heightened by male enjoyment
boyfriend and I are thinking of heading over to ikea to try one of their famous couples fights
when is technology going to stop trying to get me to speak out loud to it. I'm never going to do that
when a dude touches me in conversation it sets off something primal in me: the suspicion that he read a book about dating
girl are you a stupid cartoon for kids because I'm a nerd and I like you
The Girl With The Fucking Banksy Tattoo
in hell they make you read all the @ replies to women's funny sex-related tweets
Michelle Bachmann is like if you destroyed Sarah Palin, but then the debris began to laugh and they reformed into something more horrible.
orphaned as a child, he was raised by memes. this is Bacon Failboat Catbeard's story of epic awesome feels
in 1st grade I excitedly told a girl she had the same b-day as my dog. she turned away dismissively and said "Great. I'm related to a dog."
call me Old Timey but when i have a crush on someone I put vague song lyrics in my AIM profile and say nothing and agonize over it for years
if you find yourself annoyed by "feels" and "i don't even" just remember people on the internet used to say things like "teh winz0rs"
Cartoon lady. You don't wanna get mixed up with me. Draws Octopus Pie, SVA teacher, did Marceline + the Scream Queens. Heidi is my dog.