@gravymonkey's (gravy) most faved Tweets...
I want to beat my 1:1 following/follower ratio, so I had to drop people. Sorry Grandma, but your tweets about your dialysis are a downer
The Internet is 40 years old today. I think it's reasonable to say that the Internet is a man child living in mom's basement.
Twitter now has Lists!
I haven't been this excited about a list since the time grandpa gave a handjob to get on Schindler's
I haven't been this excited about a list since the time grandpa gave a handjob to get on Schindler's
13
The secret to avoiding the swine flu is to build up your resistance to it with small daily doses of bacon, pork chops, and tenderloin
13
You would think that after all those years of playing Tetris that I would be better at loading the dishwasher
12
Every time I poop, the A-Team theme song gets stuck in my head. Now it will get stuck in your head next time you poop. You're welcome
11
I didn't want to go to a staff meeting today, so I sent in my stunt double in my place. But all he did was fall down a flight of stairs
10
A random foreign exchange student asked me about the history of worker's unions in the US, which I explained was started by President Vader
9
On Sep 3rd I will say my goodbyes to MJ and play that final game of 'got your nose' with him, which I usually won.
9
Wife will not clean litter box, so I used it myself. Now she thinks cat has major intestinal issues. I think it’s best if we put him down
9
Ford is bringing back the Fiesta. Now I can relive those high school days of pushing my car and not getting laid.
8
If New Moon has taught me one thing, it's that I'm going to need a lot more body glitter to keep my wife interested in me
8
I need to figure out what I am going to wear to a Woodstock themed birthday party this weekend. Guess I have to find a hippy to skin.
8
If the Health Care bill is thousands of pages long and so comprehensive, why doesn't it provide coverage for my stigmata?
7
I could learn from "Time Traveler's Wife" - Guy disappears for days at a time, tells his wife he's time traveling, and she buys it? Sucker!
7
Page 827 of the Health Care bill provides for 1 Snuggie for each person during flu and cold season.
I'm hoping for the zebra print
I'm hoping for the zebra print
6
I know it's early to think about Christmas, but I have a lot of Bedazzler work to do on a Snuggie for my wife.
6
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