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My sex life is now like #StarWars: The last 3 were so bad I forget ever liking the originals.
It doesn't matter where you live; home is any place you can masturbate with your guard down #thesumofmyknowledge
Finally got my own apartment; I haven't been this naked in years.
The #KatyPerryMovie better answer the big question: If Led Zeppelin were really that good, how come they weren’t ridiculously good looking?
Sometimes, just sometimes I learn something about America's history that makes me feel, what's the word... "good"? https://twitter.com/BerniesHomie/status/682023036313145344 …
Debbie Wasserman hides debates, worked for #Hillary and insults women #DearDebbie time to go https://www.change.org/p/debbie-wasserman-schultz-demand-debbie-wasserman-schultz-s-immediate-resignation-as-dnc-chair … pic.twitter.com/kS3bRUTmJj
-- Comedian - Writer - Artist -- #definitelynotgreatesthuman ClimateAction|SocialJustice|Humanist #FeelTheBern #getmoneyout of politics!
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