Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Right now, billionaires are throwing smaller TVs at their giant TVs
My sex life is now like #StarWars: The last 3 were so bad I forget ever liking the originals.
It doesn't matter where you live; home is any place you can masturbate with your guard down #thesumofmyknowledge
The #KatyPerryMovie better answer the big question: If Led Zeppelin were really that good, how come they weren’t ridiculously good looking?
So basically, an ALT comic is just someone who can't have a normal conversation off stage?
"Cars", you know? "Rage incubators"
Could you stop referring to it as my 'little diddy?' Thanks.
I'm sorry, but Mama is still insisting I knock you out...
My favorite shirt to wear in LA says:
"I can't do ANYTHING for your career"
No amount of brushing can appease them. My teeth are just body parts that bide their time, and then attack my bank account.
Gay people would make awful parents. Actually wanting their kids, teaching them tolerance, how is that going to prepare them for real life?
Be the change you want to see in the world; and by that I mean, leave a YouTube comment telling someone how gay they are.
Got a new roommate. He tells people I'm ok cuz I'm Canadian. I tell people he's ok cuz he's not a comedian.
I find women in their 30's sexier, younger girls still have that look of hope in their eyes #WhatATurnOff
Apple: Turning people with no business near a computer into elitist snobs since 1984
Actors play interesting people; Comedians are interesting people
"I don't believe in Evolution" is the religious equivalent of "I couldn't get into The WIRE"
If you love something, let it go. It was clawing to get away from you anyway.