"Merry Birthday!" that's how you know people are too drunk. #christmaswtf

@paulfeig Her fingers brushed his as she handed over his change. He smiled hopefully. She gave him a flat look that said "No".

My Top 3 #lastfm Artists: Elliott Smith (9), Modest Mouse (7) & Vampire Weekend (4)  http://bit.ly/cqipgD 

@thearmandoshow You guys are WAY behind the curve. 2010 is so last year.

@thearmandoshow I love that movie. So. Much.

Saw a woman wearing a "Santa, define GOOD" t-shirt today. Should have read "Santa, define LAME."

@orlenorrville @thearmandoshow Munchy Mart! http://twitpic.com/3iakas

#SenorChang

Gossip mags on the beach. Miley gets a makeover/sand beard. http://twitpic.com/3f8l1s

Being scolded for spending too much time on the internet. I wish I had MORE time to spend on the internet.

Machete don't tweet.

@thearmandoshow Er, face first*

@thearmandoshow I tripped over a tree root and landed fast first on my glasses. It was very glamourous, I assure you.

Now that is what happens when you're clumsy as fuck with no coordination. See matching eyebrow gash. http://twitpic.com/3esnfy

I am in such a fucking good mood. I'm not even being sarcastic. It's real.

@thearmandoshow I love brunettes too. Also, Kat Denning is hot, hot, hotttt.

Sometimes I see twitter updates and attempt to like them facebook style and then I realise my life is pathetically sad.

@thearmandoshow I don't think there are many Mexicans in NZ or Aus. I've never met someone from Mexico, they're that rare!

Phillies!!! RT @thearmandoshow Yankees vs. Phillies? Have fun with all that. Not even going to bother.

@thearmandoshow Just your typical backwater kiwi.