@groverviolet's (Dumb Arse) recent favourites. See who @groverviolet favs the most...
Spent the afternoon hiking the Appalachian Trail. After the hike, the boy said, "Can't I just enjoy nature by looking out the window?"
5
Driving through springtime road construction is fun. I think me and this grooved pavement made it to third base.
1
If there is a joy greater than embarassing your kid in front of his friends, I have yet to experience it.
3
My revenge for the boy making me sit through Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Telling his friends he wants Barbies for his birthday.
3
I know you want my job, but sweetheart, the only blood in the water is yours.
And I am the shark. (Cue Jaws Theme)
And I am the shark. (Cue Jaws Theme)
14
I just ran up the stairs to catch the train as if I were looking forward to work. Must be the bloodlust.
The fact that I won't have any clean towels until I actually wash the towels really pisses me off.
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Look, I don't blame George W Bush for EVERYthing. But being single is totally his fault. Also, I'm out of apple juice. That's him too.
4
there's something about St. Patrick's Day that makes me want to wear sprkly green eye shadow and red lipstick.
1
So it turns out working for two years without raises has a negative impact on morale. If only we could have seen this coming.
Just so we're clear: cleaning your toilet means I am entitled to spoiling and pampering. Because... yuck.
1
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