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How come no one seems to have noticed that Justin Bieber has turned into Vanilla Ice?
A friend just said, "I really want to get a duplicate of someone's vagina for a fleshlight just so I can use the term 'Replicunt.'"
Fat Batman just told me he'd take a pic with me for free, if I flashed him. Needless to say, I am now the proud owner of a super hot photo.
Make me laugh out loud and I'll gladly follow you. No seriously, I'm in a polyamorous relationship, I have a lot of free time.
I hate when sex shops online have for her/for him sections like a vibrator knows the gender of the person it's being crammed in and cares.
My OBGYN just called to confirm my appt and said, "we look forward to seeing you soon!" We clearly have very different perspectives on this.
If wearing sexy underwear under my clothes makes me feel more sexy, how come not wearing any doesn't make me feel invisible?
Apparently I'm a child and still can't stop myself from giggling when I hear or read the word, "pleasure."
About to be distracted by shoving something in my mouth. Spoiler alert: it's pizza.
Well done, brain. You deserve something that will act as positive reinforcement. I want that to happen again!
Here's a better picture of @emeryemeryii and @heatherhenderso of @ardentatheists. pic.twitter.com/ut6eZgAh
It's always sad when I follow someone really funny and later see them talk about Jesus, forcing me to unfollow them.
To all gay and bi men and tgs: PLEASE go chik-fil-a and ask which of their products goes best with the flavor of cum.
I'm a control freak 95% of the time. The other 5% involves you tying me up.
Not new by any stretch, but soooooooo funny. pic.twitter.com/ICyi4jFj9t
Because sometimes I just like pushing buttons... pic.twitter.com/s04qjrznBq
The guy at coffee bean just asked if I needed validation. I said, we all do, that's why we live in LA, right?
They won @podcastawards!!! Great job @emeryemeryii and @heatherhenderso of @ardentatheists!!! pic.twitter.com/kd6bZ4QE
I'd trade jeans that make my ass look good for not dumping change on the ground every time I pee, any day. #vanity
Dirty-minded atheist with a propensity for punning all over the place. (expect baby-eating and rape jokes)
Stats can't be shown as @grumpygumption has never signed in to Favstar.
