In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. On Sesame Street, it's your Count that votes. Ah-ah-ah! #occupysesamestreet

#removeoneletterfilm iTanic - "Ship" is now syncing.

"I make tabletops," Tom said counterproductively.

If the St. Louis Cardinals say, "We're number one," do the St. Louis Ordinals say, "We're in first place?"

Fun Fact: the seven letters of "rainbow" stand for the different colors! Red, arange, iellow, neen, blue, ondigo, and wiolet!

10 Things I Hate About You: You start counting from one instead of zero.

Q: What do you do when you see a space man? A: You park your car, man.

legalize werewolves

as far as i go to make people happy i don't want to change who i am or change what i personally believe to be right

When at a funeral, there is a distinct difference between 'I'm sorry," and "I apologize."

In the future, "Fuck tha police" becomes a friendly, everyday greeting, similar to "Top o' the morning to ye."

Enya becomes a rapper, takes the last name "Face"

where are all the sour patch parents

Freud Day, Freud Day, gotta get down on your mom's penis

When I die, I want to be wrapped in copper wire and placed in a magnetic coffin, so when I spin in my grave it generates electricity.

Did you know? The average person has one fallopian tube.

#whitepeoplehobbies Messing with the time-space continuum smh -_-

If Rupert Grint breaks his leg, is that a ginger snap?

@celestialbeard THOM LOOK WHAT I MADE FOR YOU! http://t.co/pK21JUzd

dear god what is this http://t.co/jT19nitP