Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I have a nice body. It's out in the trunk.
It never ceases to amaze me how Twitter is both addiction and therapy at the same time.
Scars are tattoos with better stories.
Pepsi has put the sugar back in their pop & calls it Throwback. Coke should totally put the coke back in theirs and call it Blowback.
Twitter is quite possibly the longest video game I've ever played.
I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty.
When you cheat on someone you turn a beautiful person into a troubled, paranoid mess, and the world is a little bit darker & sadder for it.
Twitter is for people whose brains can't sit still.
The silence between my tweets is the sound of my real life.
I am soooo sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
You can say she's pretty all you want but unless you make her FEEL pretty, it doesn't count.
Everybody is somebody's weirdo.
I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore.
Money can't buy happiness but it sure buys a lot of distractions.
Only users lose drugs.
I'm not completely useless...you're always welcome to use me as a bad example.
The Energizer bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery.
Would you like to speak to the man in charge or the woman that can help you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about the number 8?
"Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Proof that punctuation can save your life.
Schrodinger's cat lady. Feel lucky punk? Sweets you couldnt ignore me if you tried. Musician, Martial Artist, @rovingvagabond's $25k felony bond girl.