haavoc

@haavoc

Mike Classic

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Following 97
Followers 315
I'm terribly interesting.
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@haavoc’s (Mike Classic) best tweets
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haavoc
I made today's coffee using RedBull instead of water. I can see the photons coming at me from this monitor; they move like snowflakes.
@haavoc
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haavoc
NyQuil shooters at the cafeteria. I've done three already. My teeth are green and I can smell Time & Space.
@haavoc
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haavoc
No, this is not a yard sale. I'm just showing off the stuff I own. Just drink it all in, buddy. Yeah!
@haavoc
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haavoc
The best part of knowing a Zombie is that they will always love you for your mind.
@haavoc
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haavoc
From the best I can tell, Downton Abbey is a British period piece about animated GIFs.
@haavoc
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haavoc
Anchorman 2? Great! Snorg Tees' supply of pop culture quotes was starting to get low.
@haavoc
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haavoc
The appropriate amount of outrage or elation you should feel in the Sexiest Man Alive decision is, "Oh, okay."
@haavoc
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haavoc
When did the news just become advertising for bad ideas and fear-base decision making? We'll find out, right after Sports and Weather.
@haavoc
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haavoc
Tinnitus is actually your Guardian Angel playing a synth.
@haavoc
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haavoc
So we're done with Charlie Sheen, right? The dancing monkey entertained us, got his quarter and walked away, right?
@haavoc
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haavoc
Irony: People who demanded the iPhone have a higher quality camera now use Instagram.
@haavoc
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haavoc
I went looking for incidents of Confirmation Bias and found a lot. Just as I suspected!
@haavoc
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haavoc
Dear Oprah. I have some crazy medical snake oil nonsense to peddle to housewives. How does your schedule look? Are you free?
@haavoc
haavoc
My next book will be "How To Punch A Bison To Death". It's part How-To, part autobiography. #oprahBookClub
@haavoc
haavoc
Too busy to wait for toast? Spray PAM on some croutons! #lifeHacker
@haavoc
haavoc
For this meal, you shall refer to me as "Nom Nom Chompsky"
@haavoc
haavoc
Dammit, these M&Ms are hard to peel today. Had to use the automatic peeler.
@haavoc
haavoc
JUSTIN HITS 14 MILLION FOLLOWERS! Begin the Omega Phase. Kali Ma Shakti de!
@haavoc
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haavoc
Soylent Beige: It's made of boring people!
@haavoc
haavoc
Yeah, I built an all-Flash portfolio site so I don't have to deal with organic searches and success.
@haavoc