Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The first snow is like falling in love. Winter is like the rest of the relationship.
As usual, it was clear the hunky waiter wanted me.
A longtime companion is a witness to your life. Too bad mine had to go into a witness protection program.
All this time I thought "Carpe Diem" meant you spent the day carping until you got what you wanted. Kinda worked.
My magic incantation is: Shiraz!
It is such a cliché for youth to be so certain they will never be clichés.
I enjoy sex as much as the next guy...in fact, WITH the next guy.
You say I'm in a pickle, but what's the big dill?
First dates scare the shit out of me...which makes undressing for sex awkward.
Yes I know I'm in denial... that is why I need you to shut the fuck up
My boyfriend is amazing: kind, considerate and a great lover. And imaginary. So I can change him when I am bored.
Facebook changed my relationship status to "in a monastic order".
I am a little sick of this acceptance shit. Can I go back to denial or rage?
It seems like I always end up being the centre of tension.
If I tell you I am in recovery, it means recovery from my childhood, and I am using booze to do it.
My cat had a fatal accident. He accidentally spilled my last glass of wine.
Hasn't anyone thought of tapping orgasms as an alternative source of renewable energy? I am sure everyone would do their part.
It is good to meditate while the sleeping pill kicks in.