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Everyone is damaged. You're not special.
I don't have friends. I have people who I ignore less frequently than everyone else.
I hate you just the way you are.
Don't make this weird. *snaps latex gloves*
If I sit on your face & you die of asphyxiation, Im finishing before I call 911. Just saying.
In my opinion, fuck your opinion.
Twitter, because I'm pretty on the inside.
I just want to hate shit without people asking what the fuck is wrong. I dont need a fucking reason!
You would make a superb speed bump.
I enjoy sex the same way I enjoy murder, hard & slow.
I hate it when the trashbag falls inside the trashcan. Now I have to reach thru the bloody tampons, cat shit & dead baby parts to get it out
Fist pumping is only acceptable inside a vagina.
I'd let Michael J Fox go down on me as long as he was off the Parkinson's meds.
I keep thinking how gross these bread sticks are, but I keep putting them in my mouth....just like any good woman.
Two wrongs make a good time.
Just got out the shower, Im not sure I got my hair clean enough. Will you smell my vagina for me?
Why is it that chicks named Peaches always smell like rotten cooter juice?
STOP...STOP....STOP everything you're doing! STOP! Hammer Time!
I know I'm in love when u quote Nickleback lyrics to me and I miss all major arteries when I stab you repeatedly.
I'm the Voynich manuscript of humans. #UriNation
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