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People are liars. They don't want you to be yourself. They want a socially acceptable version of you.
Everyone is damaged. You're not special.
I don't have friends. I have people who I ignore less frequently than everyone else.
I hate you just the way you are.
Don't make this weird. *snaps latex gloves*
If I sit on your face & you die of asphyxiation, Im finishing before I call 911. Just saying.
In my opinion, fuck your opinion.
Twitter, because I'm pretty on the inside.
I just want to hate shit without people asking what the fuck is wrong. I dont need a fucking reason!
You would make a superb speed bump.
I enjoy sex the same way I enjoy murder, hard & slow.
I hate it when the trashbag falls inside the trashcan. Now I have to reach thru the bloody tampons, cat shit & dead baby parts to get it out
Fist pumping is only acceptable inside a vagina.
I'd let Michael J Fox go down on me as long as he was off the Parkinson's meds.
I keep thinking how gross these bread sticks are, but I keep putting them in my mouth....just like any good woman.
Just got out the shower, Im not sure I got my hair clean enough. Will you smell my vagina for me?
Why is it that chicks named Peaches always smell like rotten cooter juice?
Two wrongs make a good time.
STOP...STOP....STOP everything you're doing! STOP! Hammer Time!
I know I'm in love when u quote Nickleback lyrics to me and I miss all major arteries when I stab you repeatedly.