Let me put things into perspective for you. Persp(things)ective. ​You're welcome.

dear women, plz note that when men say "I love you" immediately before, during, or after sex - it does not count

Women love a man brimming with confidence. Why?? Because without that, what's to destroy?

This is the worlds dumbest person. #fail pic.twitter.com/TkpxZhmU

live each day like it's my last? shit advice!!! do you really want to encourage me to eat my weight in donuts????

#dubai #earthquake #devastation #deadly #disaster #help pic.twitter.com/xATJXGnOjy

World's dumbest person @mandaswaggie part 2 pic.twitter.com/I5qlKdlS

دبي: تصرح بأنها غير مسؤوله عن أي برج يدخل في طيز فيليكس #redbullstratos #stratos #felix #felixjump

The first rule of the Suspense Club is..................................................................................................

When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to God that you're nowhere near a dildo factory

This is how you SLAM a Lebanese politician. Hats off to you @diaydi . #Lebanon #Leb #Beirut pic.twitter.com/KOYTa0L7Zp

That Barca song translates to "Weeee tooooook itttt upppp ouuurrr asssssssseeessssssss" #ucl #rape #barca #barcelona

If you think you're having a bad day.. just remember, somebody is going to have Snooki as a mom. You're welcome.

I've regretted being nice way more times than i've regretted being an asshole #fact

stupid question = sarcastic answer

its all fun and games until i tell you to go fuck yourself

Netanyahu says Israel is 'appalled' by Syria massacre! Go FUCK YOURSELF. Seriously. Now. GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!!

ok wtf???? my colleague just asked me if i was a homosexual!!! his exact words were "have you seen twilight?"

has the internet changed my life? hell yes. i can now anonymously insult total strangers from the comfort of my home/office

Pique is Barcelona's Pepe. #cunt