@harrisuz's (Harriet May) most faved Tweets...
I heard Micheal Vick and Sarah Palin were both looking for work. Palin considers herself a pitbull.
... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I'm starting a band and naming it OC/DC but you can only join if you wash your hands first.
One hundred and eighty six times.
One hundred and eighty six times.
I'd tell you how uncomfortable my bf gets when I make jokes about bulimia, but I'm trying not to regurgitate old conversations.
Sometimes when I say "Sorry" what I really mean is "You're obviously a giant twatfaced crotchsucker."
I got woken up by a builder this morning. And not in a good way, although there was banging involved.
Feeling a bit meh.
And by 'meh,' I mean 'I will kill you with a sledgehammer if I perceive you in any way to be thinking that I am fat.'
And by 'meh,' I mean 'I will kill you with a sledgehammer if I perceive you in any way to be thinking that I am fat.'
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I'm waiting for things to stop being 'character building' and to start being 'winning the lottery.'
15
I watched a documentary on Freemasons. I still don't get what they are, but I kinda want to be one. This is why I don't watch infomercials.
13
My mom told me to go get her some of the complimentary coffee from the lobby. I told her it would cost her $5 for shipping and handling.
13
You should probably worry less about the president indoctrinating your kids, and worry more about those sweatpants you bought from Wal-Mart.
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Listening to how crows have the ability to tell humans apart on NPR. Wish I had that talent. It would come in handy at parties.
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You promised me sunshine, & roller skating, & good times. But now all I have is gas. Sometimes I don't think you love me at all, Diet Coke.
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