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Google+ feels like when you get to a party way too early, and you're awkwardly talking to the host's Uncle for like 30 minutes.
Grand Theft Auto wasnt meant to be played while on your period. I keep shooting people because Im angry, but then crying because theyre dead
I'm sure if a pig just tried bacon, he would fully understand.
As he moved his hand through her hair, he pushed her down into his lap. She trembled and whispered, "The things I do for a Klondike Bar."
I'm guessing that #Sopa and #Pipa are the siblings of Kate Middleton? I'm not sure because Wikipedia isn't working.
Khole Kardashian is still my favorite member of GWAR.
Wait, has anyone gotten out of bed and looked outside yet? What if the whole city is gone and we are just tweeting jokes?????????
Are they selling "Don't Eat Me Bro!" T-shirts yet?
My dream in life is to be put on bed rest.
I spend the first 20 minutes at gym untangling my head phones and the next 20 minuets picking out a song. Then I go home.
I may not be an Olympian, but at least I have tits.
My apartment looks like a Sims house before you figure out the cheat code for unlimited money.
The reincarnation of Tara Reid's aborted baby firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.26yearoldgrandma.wordpress.com
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