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Just realized that when people radically misuse quotation marks (as in "free" pizza), they're using punctuation as JAZZ HANDS!
It's so much more fun being a crazed genius than just a genius.
A magic wand that would help people see the world without painful filters of blame and mistrust would be useful.
Misread "what I learned from Jaws" as "what I learned from Jews". Still made sense (vengeance, fear, avoid sharks, possibly water).
I just got called Eyelashes McPrincess. That might be even better than getting carded.
Under-the-radar director of Stompopolis! This job means I wear many hats. My superpower: looking good in hats. This is fortunate.