2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up"

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

"I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could learn to manage their stupidity."

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

If I had a big fat pair of hairy balls I would be asking you to kiss them. I'm that kinda girl.

What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?Men miss them all.

I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Your tiny mind is tucked away in your empty head ... and lost so far up your big fat arse.

I’m sorry, my fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

Eskimo's have 49 words to define snow as they have so much of it. In the english language, there are over 50 to define a moron ...

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Want to dive in a pool filled with I don't give a shit ... even though I cannot dive for shit!! Haha :D

Make friends with your hormones. They're what make you colorful and unpredictable.