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hey it's me, the girl who just googled "chemistry alphabet" when i meant "periodic table"
(we smoked some hash) we smoked some monster hash (some monster hash) it was some dank ass trash (some monster hash) we got baked in a flash
that's so sad. let me play 4 u the worlds smallest violin. now let me play 4 u the smallest piano. now heres a lil cymbal. u feelin better
here is a cool fact about whistling: you can stop whistling
Yeah, i'm not really into mainstream music.*turns on mario paint music player, listens to baby fart noise on the lowest octave on repeat*
am i the only one who fuckin loves gettin old? that shit is my jam tho. one step closer to death. dig a ditch and throw me in that bad boy
in space, no one can hear you jam
red sky at morning, sailors take warning, sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight
Q: what kind of crab makes an excellent musician?
A: a crab would never be taken seriously as a musician please don't dash its dreams
AT LEAST I DIED AS I LIVED, BLUSHING FURIOUSLY AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION AND REFUSING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT
science fact: hey once i tried to convince someone alligators can run 50 mph on land. legs just wheelin dust, jaws flapping like crazy
ahhh, summer's bounty *opens a bag of cheez-its, crunches it into instant mashed potatoes, tops with gushers* the freshness of the earth
Sext: I start writing erotica. I submit pieces to the websites I know you frequent. You masturbate to me without even knowing it.
uptown girl, she's been living in her hipster world, flannel shirts and skinny pants, and she's looking for a bearded man, PBR cans
Fine ass DESPERATE honeys taking off their EXOSKELETONS and fingering their THROBBING VISCERA for you so can HELP PAY THEIR RENT.
are you a bad enough dude to tuck me into bed
Q: why was the egg unhappy?
A: because his life was in SCRAMBLES! also a chemical imbalance in his brain
will i ever feel about someone the way i feel about the inside part of a cinnamon roll
types of boys: old book smell, knives for eyes, self deprecating humor, robocop, whiskey on breath, well manicured, waits for you in snow