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hey it's me, the girl who just googled "chemistry alphabet" when i meant "periodic table"
(we smoked some hash) we smoked some monster hash (some monster hash) it was some dank ass trash (some monster hash) we got baked in a flash
that's so sad. let me play 4 u the worlds smallest violin. now let me play 4 u the smallest piano. now heres a lil cymbal. u feelin better
here is a cool fact about whistling: you can stop whistling
Yeah, i'm not really into mainstream music.*turns on mario paint music player, listens to baby fart noise on the lowest octave on repeat*
am i the only one who fuckin loves gettin old? that shit is my jam tho. one step closer to death. dig a ditch and throw me in that bad boy
red sky at morning, sailors take warning, sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight
in space, no one can hear you jam
AT LEAST I DIED AS I LIVED, BLUSHING FURIOUSLY AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION AND REFUSING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT
science fact: hey once i tried to convince someone alligators can run 50 mph on land. legs just wheelin dust, jaws flapping like crazy
Q: what kind of crab makes an excellent musician?
A: a crab would never be taken seriously as a musician please don't dash its dreams
ahhh, summer's bounty *opens a bag of cheez-its, crunches it into instant mashed potatoes, tops with gushers* the freshness of the earth
Sext: I start writing erotica. I submit pieces to the websites I know you frequent. You masturbate to me without even knowing it.
uptown girl, she's been living in her hipster world, flannel shirts and skinny pants, and she's looking for a bearded man, PBR cans
Fine ass DESPERATE honeys taking off their EXOSKELETONS and fingering their THROBBING VISCERA for you so can HELP PAY THEIR RENT.
are you a bad enough dude to tuck me into bed
Q: why was the egg unhappy?
A: because his life was in SCRAMBLES! also a chemical imbalance in his brain
will i ever feel about someone the way i feel about the inside part of a cinnamon roll