My neighbors listen to cool music. Whether they want to or not.

If I need to explain myself to you,then you are too stupid to be my friend.

I know people like this. I need new friends. http://t.co/HSSDa2UJ

To people out there who drink 30 different flavours of tea,do yourselves a favour and try coffee.

I have a Twitter crush. I feel so fucking stupid. I avoided this for so long. Fuck. please stop being so hot.

Describe a woman's beauty as "ethereal" and she will,most definitely love you long time. But make it believable.

Being void of emotion is becoming a normality to me.

Roses are cars,violets are buckets,this poem makes no sense. Boobs.

Batman is proof that you need money to be a hero. Joker on the other hand proves you just need to be bat shit crazy to be a villain.

I do Twitter like a job,its ungrateful,the receptionist won't fuck me,I want to go home,the rewards suck. And I compete with assholes.

Waking up horny is great. Waking up next to a horny woman is better.

Can't wait for someone to steal my tweets. I really can't. Then I have a real reason to cry like a bitch.

I've been shitting rainbows for 3 days. And it is glorious. I know I am expected to be a rude crass bastard. But hey,life is beautiful.

If your not going to unfollow me at least RT or Star something. DON'T JUST FUCKING SIT THERE?! God,do I have to do everything around here?

To all the people who don't have a hangover today. I hate you.

"I am wise as I am beautiful" - me on a ego trip.

Its YO MAMA! http://t.co/WPbP8Bx4

Tramp stamps on men,of any age,proof that you should have been killed at birth.

I get freaked out if your Twitter account is all girly and pretty and shit,makes you seem...normal.

Ten bucks says that if some of you were in a burning building you would tweet about it instead of running and screaming hysterically.