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RT @everylloydtweetever Wish I was somewhere else. Watched a movie. Girl was hot. Why am I single? *katana umbrella kick*
Drunk Nate Silver running variable regression on 8 years of Pitchfork ratings
Try to find me a whiter email subject than "Ira Glass on Trader Joe's vs Whole Foods"
Can two dads with opposite music tastes raise a babby? Will crazy buttyoga aunt ruin their family? This spring on CBS.
Sext: I invite you into my room and slowly lower my farm subsidies. You admire my sensible budget policies.
What if I programmed a twitbot that just responded with 'welp' 'wehoa' and 'urrite' and called it @wrathofdong
@dagwood_a What is pot? Baby, don't smoke me, baby, don't smoke me, no more
The robins Lynch referred to in Blue Velvet were a metaphor about the sight, smell, and sound of Lloyd and Castro finally fucking.
Platform: 1 A dojo in every town. 2. A girlfriend for me. 3. So many movies. 4. No really, I'm lonely
Dag tried to pass as a woman in Taliban Afghanistan, but his erect cock kept showing from under the burka.
Welcome to my online quiz 'Freud or Freshman.' Decide if the quote is from a 'lauded' work or some schmo's English paper.
@domking456 Rasputin seen getting fresh with Tsaritsa Alexandra! EXCLUSIVE LITHOGRAPH
One time at a bar I was approached by four different men because I was reading a Ukrainian book. A guy on Twitter thought I wrote for Jezebel. Capitalism works.
