I have the body of an animated Tim Burton character. #ladies

This is one of the best hockey games I've ever seen. #sens

Life of PI is basically Calvin and Hobbes on a boat.

FIVE MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

"Thunder only happens when it's raining." - Meteorologist who learned weather from Fleetwood Mac.

The biggest twist in The Dark Knight was when Julie Andrews came in and told Catwoman she was a princess. Mind. Blown.

.@oc_transpo Does this mean I can't dunk? pic.twitter.com/DlYVS6Vdra

Going to the gym to pump some irony.

UPDATED list of favourite Koreas: 1) South Korea. 2) Paul Kariya. 3) Cleveland, Ohio. 4) North Korea.

Guys, I just Lawrenced it pretty bad on my stairs.

.@oc_transpo MISSED CONNECTION: Short blonde girl on 96, bus #4646 or 6464 IDK but we ALMOST TALKED I and I want to get to know her more #RT

Texting bus stop numbers and routes to people is the new pocket dialing. #octranspoproblems

.@oc_transpo an empty 96 marked mistakenly marked "out of service" drove past me and I missed my wife give birth. Refund?

#NEBRASKA made @ottawafringe!! I'm a fringe director now! Crazy! But I can't Tak all the credit. Super cast and crew. So happy :)

I turn my head 270 degrees to the right, and realize I "probably" should've just turned it 90 degrees to the left.

I wish Macklemore would mackle-less. #seewhatididthere?

I tried to make some money by selling philosophy books but it only appealed to a Nietzsche market. (#seewhatIdidthere?)

I can go from "Sleeping on bus" to "Sprinting for train" in 0.6 seconds. #cars

I'm sorry @charlarts but live tweeting a play is immensely disrespectful to the patrons and actors in my opinion.

Gotta love tea. Gotta love it!