The alphabet has the rhyming scheme ABBBBCBDEAAFGHIBJKLBMBMNEB (or O if you're english)

btw if you're against gay marriage, in like 10 years you'll be considered the same as racists, so i'd jump ship and join team equality now

Harry Gangnam Styles

Gurl you must be pokémon blue because for a substantial part of my adolescence you were all I thought about

it's worth remembering at this point that there are explosions like this happening in non-english speaking countries every day

"coffee?" "yes please" "milk?" "no thanks... *leans in* I'm white enough"

Big shouts out to my beautiful girlfriend @carriehfletcher, i love you babe@

pic.twitter.com/5bRIITJA

I don't trust people who aren't sad, it means they're not thinking hard enough

£10m on Margaret Thatcher's funeral, after £11.7m 'unavoidable' cuts to the British Arts Council. It's what she would have wanted.

@amazingphil duuuude you should be here at the shareport, we're all having a lovely time

i have a complicated relationship with self-harm and #cuttingforbieber is making me feel funny inside

"What do we want?" "ABOLISHING TIME!" "When do we want it?" "NO!"

I guess any cake can be an upside-down cake if you're willing to take risks

"Hey so I've devoted my life to a being who created the universe and then made loads of rules about who can kiss, here's a pamphlet"

Like ok if you're against gay marriage I'm not gonna be angry at you but just know that you're so deeply uncool it isnt even funny

Don't ever buy lemons, it's a total con. Life's just handing them out all over the place for free

@amazingphil i'm just waiting here twirling my plaits and chatting with the goombas

George W Bush started unnecessary wars and then went into painting, making him a reverse Hitler

#removeoneletterfilm Start Little, a film about a tiny mouse who gets exponentially larger until he is engulfing manhattan