Seriously please PLEASE DM me if you're in the Philadelphia area, you write code, and you are looking for a great job. PLEASE.

@chrislhayes Except: male weight loss ads use terms of health/fitness; female weight loss ads pitch intrinsic value of "feeling beautiful"

Sometimes history happens because Joe Biden forgets to lie.

8 Olympians have gone missing in London. It's "not unusual" for world-class athletes to seek asylum at int'l games: http://t.co/kE7bP6Kk

@itsjohncampbell it's simpler to believe that it hasn't?

I'll say what we're all thinking: I wish I could get a .gif tattoo

"Actually, it's Frankenstein's Monstorm."

I was thinking that "gamifying fitness" is a cool new idea when I realized it is the basis for the most popular thing in the world, sports

Megan threatened to tweet for the first time to shame me for impulse-buying an expensive ping pong paddle, so this is a pre-emptive tweet

'Your search - "impervious surface" "pavement tribute band" - did not match any documents.' Get on this, indie dorks.

@terminalcrush You don't know if she dumpstered that! Maybe it was homebrewed overproof kombucha in an upcycled dumpstered coke bottle

Also @arcinround is on @lasoc which is a fantastic Lehigh Valley-based label also featuring SOARS. You should listen to all of this.

Can't we just agree to use that calendar where the days of the week are always the same and there's a whole party week every few years?

@doingitwrong Most applications of the Turing test are computer on computer -- powerful servers trying to keep out the botnet riffraff.

If I die without ever meeting the notability guidelines for a biographical @wikipedia article, let my epitaph read "Suggested for deletion"

South Philadelphia Tap Room pumpkin carving contest video ( #lotsofnouns ) Watch for Megan at ~1:45! http://t.co/NGvjz9Ff

I bought so many snacks at the grocery store, just in case this storm ends capitalism

Current lack of cell phone signal, an hour+ after a not-serious earthquake, is awesome reminder of uselessness of cell phones in disasters

The Pub on Passyunk East POPE outlasted the entire papacy of Pope Benedict XVI

In the last month four different women have bought me granola #swag