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Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus made a new song called "Twerk" in which twerk is rhymed with the word "turnt."
Jesus didn't die for this.
Frosty the Snowman didn't die for us to be having this hot weather in December
"Are the test grades posted yet!?"
"And for the 88th consecutive week in a row, your "Man Crush Monday" is..."
All of the freshmen's parents look like Mitt and Ann Romney
Islam deserves MORE than 32 pages in a WORLD HISTORY (!!) textbook. We already read about Christianity in every English/film/art class.
"Take a minute to digest this: Duke is now the best football team in the state of North Carolina."
"28 on campus dining options"? So I'm guessing Duke considers a vending machine next to a water fountain one "dining option."
The sorority girl workout: 83 hours walking on a treadmill, 5 minutes of shaking 2 pound weights like maracas, 2.5 crunches
Wow this class seems very interesting. Maybe I should enroll - *it's on Friday at 8:30am*
Nothing is that interesting.
Duke football is ranked. Haha. Duke football is ranked, Hahahaha
"Buy tickets for the Parents Weekend show!"
"My parents perished in a fire. I was raised by Count Olaf until my sister came of age. Rude."