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Hollywood is the most soulless, morally destructive, creatively bankrupt machine that I've ever desperately wanted to be part of.
Billy Corgan accused Radiohead of being pompous. Talk about the pot calling the kettle melon collie and the infinite sadness.
If you were stranded on a desert island, and only had a 250GB iPod, what 3,000 albums would you take with you?
You guys have NO IDEA how close I came to getting stuck paying $999,999,999 for Instagram in that eBay auction.
Oh boy, this is just going to be 90 minutes of the two candidates angrily agreeing with each other.
Jay-Z now officially has 100 problems.
I can't really afford a vacation, but a "psychotic break" sounds lovely.
Why does the army keep sending poor, uneducated children to the Middle East to fight when our millionaire dentists are such amazing shots?
If Michelle Bachmann does a good job tonight, her handlers will feed her a live mouse.
Whenever I meet a young comic who wants to lay some "truth" on the audience, the truth is usually that he hasn't written any actual jokes.
"Fanemy" - when you respect someone as a comedian but think that they're a terrible human being
Congrats to gay people on having the SCOTUS uphold your civil rights. If yesterday taught us anything, you have about 50 years to enjoy it.
God coming back to judge mankind would be like the dad who left you at age 2 coming back at age 18 to bitch about how your mom raised you.
Before I spend time liking your Facebook posts, are you single?
"Can I get a retweet?" - world's first Twitter preacher
Ironically, "Gravity" is one of the few things a Tyler Perry movie doesn't contain.
CBS is banning buttcrack from the Grammys. Poor Randy Newman :(
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