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Here's a treat for all the #notaphoners out there. Thanks for participating in my life/experiment/madness! #notaphone http://t.co/EOSIqU4v
BEHOLD! Adrien Brody: The new face of handsome! LOOK UPON IT! http://t.co/ibfU0nvK
It's like they knew I was going to @daveanthony 's album taping tonight and they're trying to stop me. #shamechamber pic.twitter.com/98bzlAjq
People study cooking and restaurant management, but food just goes into our stupid faces and comes out of our butts. Seems wasteful...
The Seahawks are playing so well right I'm beginning to think that Pete Carroll might be paying his players.
6/14/12- "Ate many bananas today. Humped 3 babes. Pooped on Fred. Sorry, Fred." #orangutandiaries
WHICH ONE OF YOU DROID-LOVING-FUCKS MADE ME DROP MY iPHONE IN THE TRASH??? Oh wait... Sorry, that was all me.
If there was ever an argument to be made against weight loss, it would Jennifer Connelly in the 90s vs. Jennifer Connelly now.
@samtripoli "Life is in 3-D, and it sucks!" #naughtyshow @comedyfilmnerds @vickypezza
"On an all new Ax Men... Two guys with a 3rd grade reading level get mad & fight each other in hard hats & suspenders. Oh and a tree falls."
Dolly Parton's face is what Joan River's surgeon has been swinging for and missing all these years.
Inner Monologue: "I'd probably have more twitter followers if I was a pretty girl..." Innerest Monologue: "You are a pretty girl, Aaron."
6/16/12- "Tired of Fred's guilt tripping. Beat him with gourde from yesterday. Ate yams. Jerked off in front of tourist." #orangutandiaries
My Mom just finished a 60 mile walk for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Eat shit, guys growing mustaches!
I play right field, way out where the dandelions grow.
Stats can't be shown as @hilAARONous has never signed in to Favstar.
