Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Raccoons are freegans too.
People study cooking and restaurant management, but food just goes into our stupid faces and comes out of our butts. Seems wasteful...
The Seahawks are playing so well right I'm beginning to think that Pete Carroll might be paying his players.
WHICH ONE OF YOU DROID-LOVING-FUCKS MADE ME DROP MY iPHONE IN THE TRASH??? Oh wait... Sorry, that was all me.
JAWS™ for Jesus.
If there was ever an argument to be made against weight loss, it would Jennifer Connelly in the 90s vs. Jennifer Connelly now.
Got an at-reply this morning from a guy correcting one of my tweets from 2011. Believe it or not, random stranger, I've moved on since then.
Sloth* love Chunk**. (*Aaron, **Cheese)
Finally decided! 2013: More respect to all bitches!
Dolly Parton's face is what Joan River's surgeon has been swinging for and missing all these years.
Inner Monologue: "I'd probably have more twitter followers if I was a pretty girl..." Innerest Monologue: "You are a pretty girl, Aaron."
My Mom just finished a 60 mile walk for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Eat shit, guys growing mustaches!
I play right field, way out where the dandelions grow.