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Being an uncle is super easy. Hold the baby for 20 mins, everyone thinks it's adorable, & then it's all "PEACE OUT, HOMIES" & go eat pizza.
Just caught the garter at this Texas wedding. I think this means I'm the sheriff now...
The 2 girls behind us are asleep and the lady next to me just took her pills. Your fans aren't getting any younger, Madonna!
If you go back in time and kill Hitler, my grandparents never meet in a refugee camp, and then it's bye-bye to your old pal Aaron. Worth it?
HEADLINE: Young couple gets back from Christmas, Murders selves rather than unpack.
All work and no pay makes Jack an intern
I play right field, way out where the dandelions grow.
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