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  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Carpe Scrotum. Grab life by the balls!

    • 620
    • FAVS
    CletusHammermutedclamorTheDunkleSoWeirditsCoollaurenMBondjenboo33RohithMitaiafifah_pip
    • 345
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historymutedclamorTheDunklelaurenMBondRohithMitaibipolarraccoonhilarious_homo____JamesonN7
    SharpesEyeView
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    If your girlfriend goes down on you while humming the theme to Star Wars whilst pretending your dick is a lightsabre... she's a keeper.

    • 602
    • FAVS
    CletusHammermyjamesonGrahamDamnitminer333RickyScampcanadasandraTotallyUnfunnytacos_y_cerveza
    • 280
    • RETWEETS
    miner333TotallyUnfunnyTeganrobertson1Mrs_OscarWildeem2the_geeFuzzzyNutsCRPerfect10Ms_Laser
    dark_jedi1God__Damn_Robin
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    GOOD NEWS! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier.... not pregnant!

    • 527
    • FAVS
    sfreeze6myjamesonGrahamDamnitRickyScampcanadasandraTotallyUnfunnytacos_y_cervezaem2the_gee
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historycanadasandraP_D_M21BlACk__ThRoaTFastEddie16thrill713Thaat_guyjbnbiggie
    pizzajaynow
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    If you were a good friend, you'd take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes...

    • 467
    • FAVS
    KatrinaGibson13kwirkyKerriTheBeerGuy73GensPlaceOverRitzmediumflowCletusHammerbotandy
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    kwirkyKerriGensPlacefavstar_historyherbalsynthesislacrossemom5HuajatollaChicGentlyTemperedsfreeze6
    TyErosMBittersweet25Loli_Sug
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil

    • 381
    • FAVS
    myjamesonTheMongoose69canadasandraTotallyUnfunnytacos_y_cervezaem2the_geeSheila_Mac420GoldenSpirals
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    canadasandraGoldenSpiralsBoozieEyedJoePJdenisPJGodhatespantsstellasev7169missekayScottTlucky______
    life_sucker
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    myjamesonTheMongoose69nikstylescanadasandratacos_y_cervezaem2the_geeFuzzzyNutsSheila_Mac420
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historycanadasandratacos_y_cervezaRubyJamstar__FuzzzyNutsiVanillaGorillaJs_Dark_RealityBoozieEyedJoe
    tacos_y_cervezaladyfiredancer
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    My body is being held together with wine, nicotine, electrical tape and a little bit of hope...

    • 339
    • FAVS
    myjamesonStillJessLSCoolHandLuke011DallaniRohanAlc3milyjewellIAmTheCrewJandalize
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyCoolHandLuke011IAmTheCrewJandalizeGod__Damn_RobinrezbabyzangelsandducksiVanillaGorilla
    Lakeoconeebldr____
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

    • 317
    • FAVS
    myjamesoncanadasandraTotallyUnfunnyXOSchitzotacos_y_cervezaem2the_geeSunshineJarbolyjennslyn
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyXOSchitzoNolaChef504TMcgutsJimmerThatisAllFuzzzyNutsGoldenSpiralsLaddy42__________
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    I soberly give you permission to do that to me when I'm drunk.

    • 323
    • FAVS
    mediumflowEarthschildPascalSlothsmyjamesonCakeThrottlecanadasandraTotallyUnfunnycullyjackson
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historymyjamesoncanadasandra_Leadean_tacos_y_cervezaRobotSkeleton69BoozieEyedJoeACloudydreamer
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    My only expectation is honesty. And 3 orgasms every time.

    • 324
    • FAVS
    CletusHammermyjamesonTheMongoose69TotallyUnfunnySheila_Mac420GoldenSpiralsJehzikahsilent_musings
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    CutesyKinkMe______nettie0918missekaydshack8LaniBenoTyErosBoozieEyedJoecanadasandra
    SharpeBytessgtblueeyes
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    So when you pull your dick out, just so you know, making the 'pew pew pew' sounds of laser blasters totally gets me hot.

    • 247
    • FAVS
    CletusHammersfd621____________FeistyGirl_Bkuusela34chantal_devoUrbanDouchebagwhatitsmenejKhumzAomi
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejdshack8badassnoodlesTotallyUnfunnyWelldonebaconcrunchenhancedLaniBenoTyEros
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Take a minute and think about the 1st time you realized he/she was it for you. Take that feeling and make the effort to relive it everyday.

    • 204
    • FAVS
    myjamesoncanadasandraTotallyUnfunnyasdfsemiits_sarachka______JimmerThatisAllSheila_Mac420Jehzikah
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    CptKarnage_sarah_nelson_JimmerThatisAllJehzikahScottTlucky______absolutemess______sexynose_pickerNaked_Wombat
    numbertze
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Pretty damn sure this chick in the Wal-mart is only a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

    • 227
    • FAVS
    myjamesoncanadasandraTotallyUnfunnytacos_y_cervezaSheila_Mac420Js_Dark_RealityJFKwasAFKmissekay
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    canadasandraanomicmanWelldonebaconabsolutemess______Naked_WombatCarpentersCrackcharliedelta757thStateTweetr
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Question: Masturbation - how much is too much? Because I'm thinking I might be tip-toeing a very fine line...

    • 223
    • FAVS
    MannifinnJsscstnlyTheRealBoiledEGMarkAMacalusokuusela34kjlong22Luke1am_2UrbanDouchebag
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    MannifinnBrutallyH0nest_kjlong22whatitsmenejdshack8canadasandraGodhatespantsmissekay
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Your lack of response clearly proves you have forgotten how crazy I am

    • 183
    • FAVS
    myjamesoncanadasandraSheila_Mac420JehzikahJFKwasAFKcoldlippdheresycrunchenhancedJUSTLisandra
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    Michabeancrunchenhancedmaiyaaa13missekayScottTlucky______LaniBenomck8mck__________AphroditeAfter5
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Your instinct is a powerful weapon. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If it feels right, let it lead you.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    CletusHammermyjamesoncanadasandraSheila_Mac420JehzikahJFKwasAFKmissekayThomas_Lull
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    JehzikahScottTlucky______LaniBenoHollywood__Vabsolutemess______MommaWearsHeels__jamesbondgirl02thr33circles______
    rain247man
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Men: If she's wearing pigtails, be sure you properly utilize them. Thank you.

    • 186
    • FAVS
    dshack8EarthschildmyjamesoncanadasandraTotallyUnfunnyasdfsemiandrewgutinJimmerThatisAll
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    pabstdriverdshack8myjamesonJimmerThatisAllMs_LasermissekayScottTlucky______bighotnfury2012
    WrigleyAwards____
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    Level of my singleness: Drinking beer, eating pizza and watching tv topless by myself on a Saturday night. That single.

    • 183
    • FAVS
    myjamesonTotallyUnfunnyasdfsemiSheila_Mac420JehzikahJFKwasAFKThomas_LullScottTlucky______
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    JimmerThatisAllScottTlucky______LaniBenocanadasandraabsolutemess______SharpeBytesRistinMalloryNicholey23
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    I need a medic alert bracelet that just says "delete my browser history and my twitter account"... That should do it.

    • 116
    • FAVS
    myjamesonDaignoranceTotallyUnfunnyemkwill10JustClancybipolarraccoonAngry_Haitianmissekay
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    g1magicbusynessAngry_Haitianmissekayla_cabrona4njeastmanMsLadyLuvBugphxbrooklyngirl
  • hippo_chic
      The Hippo @hippo_chic

    As I'm folding my laundry, I realize how much of a geek I truly am defined by tee shirt collection alone. My panty drawer says otherwise...

    • 153
    • FAVS
    myjamesoncanadasandraJehzikahJFKwasAFKanomicmanThomas_LullFeliciovsmarksquaddy
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    canadasandraGodhatespantsmissekayScottTlucky______Nicholey23DivineLately______dzdncnfzd3absolutemess______
@hippo_chic

@hippo_chic

Always hungry hungry... and I got one for Christmas, bitch. If you're under 18, go away. @coyotedevil helps me hide the bodies, @sharpebytes brings the shovel.