Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Carpe Scrotum. Grab life by the balls!
If your girlfriend goes down on you while humming the theme to Star Wars whilst pretending your dick is a lightsabre... she's a keeper.
GOOD NEWS! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier.... not pregnant!
If you were a good friend, you'd take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My body is being held together with wine, nicotine, electrical tape and a little bit of hope...
I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.
I soberly give you permission to do that to me when I'm drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And 3 orgasms every time.
So when you pull your dick out, just so you know, making the 'pew pew pew' sounds of laser blasters totally gets me hot.
Take a minute and think about the 1st time you realized he/she was it for you. Take that feeling and make the effort to relive it everyday.
Pretty damn sure this chick in the Wal-mart is only a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Question: Masturbation - how much is too much? Because I'm thinking I might be tip-toeing a very fine line...
Your lack of response clearly proves you have forgotten how crazy I am
Your instinct is a powerful weapon. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If it feels right, let it lead you.
Men: If she's wearing pigtails, be sure you properly utilize them. Thank you.
Level of my singleness: Drinking beer, eating pizza and watching tv topless by myself on a Saturday night. That single.
As I'm folding my laundry, I realize how much of a geek I truly am defined by tee shirt collection alone. My panty drawer says otherwise...
Well, if we're passed the bullshitting stage - yes. If not, then no, I'm not that type of girl.
Always hungry hungry... and I got one for Christmas, bitch. If you're under 18, go away. @coyotedevil helps me hide the bodies, @sharpebytes brings the shovel.