The second I get in to bed, my cat does a line of coke and preforms acrobatics for three hours.

Fuck you, I hope you go on an expensive vacation and get your period the FIRST day.

If you abuse animals I will pour battery acid in your eyes.

You're like 17......tuck your little boobies back in to your shirt and stop begging for STDs.

Funny tweets get 10 stars but Marilyn Monroe quotes break the time space star continuum because you guys are fucking stupid

Who's the dick weed that decided how much wine goes in a wine glass. Fill that shit to the BRIM.

Nice confederate flag...Remember that one time when we beat your ass and you went back to your swamp and fucked your sister?

I hate when people tie their bandannas at the front of their heads. You don't look like Tupac, you look like aunt Jemima...

I don't think my boyfriend realizes every picture he likes on facebook pops up in my newsfeed. he has terrible taste in 17 year old girls.

If you drink and drive, do us all a favor and drive off a bridge. You're a selfish asshole and a fucking moron.

I hate when people call their followers "fans". First off - this is fucking TWITTER. Second off - go kill yourself. Thanks.

Stop saying years young rather than old. You're fucking annoying and unoriginal and everyone hates you.

You say tomato I say go kill yourself

Wife beaters, drug lords, white supremacists and pedophiles have the right to marriage but NOT homosexuals? oh! ok! It all makes sense now!

how funny would it be if someone mooned you and immediately started shitting.

Now playing - No One Gives a Fuck by I Don't Care What You're Listening To

Donald Trump is the Kim Kardashian of politics. God forbid it's not all about him.

if you can watch the scene where simba tries to wake mufasa up without crying you should be executed immediately.

Morgan Freeman promoting Obama? YOU AUTOMATICALLY LOSE, MITT.

If one more person says YOLO, i'm gunna shank them in the kidneys.