<block:joke><id="420">"420 joke"</420></block>

if your boyfriend's favourite animal is an otter you should be fucking single

i get the feeling that karaoke for @dudehugs and @rare_basement is like bowling for The Dude

TITTIES. TIIITTTIEEEESSS. TIIIIIIIITTTTTTTIIIIIIEEESSSSSS TITS TITS TITS TITS TITS TIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIIITS TITS

ｗｅ  ａｒｅ  ｓｔｉｌｌ  ｉｎ  ｔｒａｆｆｉｃ  ｉ  ｗｉｌｌ  ｅａｔ  ｔｈｅ  ｓｅａｔ  ｃｕｓｈｉｏｎｓ

@subtle_violence so BDSM Is really not your thing then

#ThingsYouSayToYourBestFriend i fucked your sister

@elphhh "don't take the SAT on acid" -direct advice from my Kaplan proctor

*never* http://t.co/JTFvUDf0

pro tip: don't drive with friends if you can't pump crystal castles or grimes when it's raining

yeah you guys keep joking about kim-jong un. I bet the guys at pearl harbor were joking too

so the girl who played Matilda and the youngest daughter in Mrs Doubtfire just RT'd a @piss_wizard tweet & somehow my childhood has died

rap game sad boy. sad game rap boy. game boy sad rap

don't look up sea spiders. DON'T DO IT

rap game chicka chicka slim shady

pro tip: DO NOT EVER IGNORE NUDES

woah cool I accidentally sent an email to my Diversity Trainer supervisor with the n-word in the subject GOD DAMN MY LIFE

my dumb gross boyfriend took the whole dumb gross baseball team into my 7th period & asked me to prom with a dumb gross song ew high school

started from the bottom now we in traffic

jesus fuck someone analyze Sybil for me because i hate the goddamn movie