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Oh, look. Another $30 million fighter jet, buzzing my house at 7:30am.
I hope it's a Transformer that turns into libraries and health care.
I say: "No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all."
They hear: "I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."
As a nerd, you can spend a lot years feeling kind of alone.
Then, you find a few other nerds, and suddenly you feel a little less alone.
NPR says one key to a social media strategy is being "authentic."
I'd say one key to being authentic is avoiding a "social media strategy."
USER: I want your new burger.
DEV: It isn't cooked yet.
U: So what?
D: It's literally raw.
U: You DICK–This is RAW!
Anyone who every felt hopelessly weird secretly hopes they'll eventually become impossibly interesting.
Most of us haven't. Bowie sure did.
Apparently, Google had wanted to turn Wave off weeks ago, but nobody could figure out how.
Q: How many nerds does it take to ruin a joke?
A: So. Unless I'm missing something here, I think you meant "geeks." And, "riddle." Proceed.
Imagine a guy who's REALLY into panties who makes ALL his money selling data about panties. Now he offers to store your panties.
Another salient difference:
Google: Thanks for looking at 100s of ads you hate.
Apple: Thanks for buying 100s of dollars of stuff you love.
Thanks to my daughter, I can verify that as of this morning, all of our Amazon Dash buttons are working just fine.
Facebook goes into a bar. Then, the bar was ruined.
Ayn Rand goes into a bar. Bartender goes, "What'll you have?" Ayn Rand goes, "Anything I want." Then, TONS of college freshman were selfish.
"You're enjoying life wrong," explained the internet.
Theory: As long as strangers hold the power to affect your mood, you are deeply and fundamentally fucked.
Liberal outrage seems to really heat up about 36 hours after it might have been useful.
If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.
My Twitter Guide:
1. Be yourself
3. Take breaks
4. Follow what you enjoy
5. Unfollow whatever tempts you to write a Twitter guide
Java®. Write Once; Hog 80% of CPU Everywhere™.
You're the sizzle teen. And you're older than me.
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