@hotdogsladies' (Merlin Mann) most faved Tweets...
Oh, look. Another $30 million fighter jet, buzzing my house at 7:30am.
I hope it's a Transformer that turns into libraries and health care.
I hope it's a Transformer that turns into libraries and health care.
Theory: As long as strangers hold the power to affect your mood, you are deeply and fundamentally fucked.
Author Dan Brown strode through the brass lobby of a bar and ordered a beer, his eyes white as something white. The bartender had eyes too.
You eventually learn that true priorities are like arms; if you think you have more than a couple, you're either lying or crazy.
Multitasking is like driving or cunnilingus; most people assume they're great at it until they start asking around.
I don't mind getting the stink-eye when I say, "Happy Whatever Holiday You're Weirdly Touchy About," because THAT is the spirit of Whatever.
That was cynical. I apologize, SEOs.
apologies, apology, sorry, best apology, cheap apology, horny apology
apologies, apology, sorry, best apology, cheap apology, horny apology
At any given time, someone thinks you're wrong, useless, and unlovable.
Once you accept this, food tastes better and you sleep like a baby.
Once you accept this, food tastes better and you sleep like a baby.
A bad analogy is like a dildo made of peanuts; it's confusing, offensive, and very dangerous for people with allergies.
Someone dumped a filthy, stained futon on the sidewalk. Then, someone tagged it. Then, a dog shat on it.
So, yes: comments were enabled.
So, yes: comments were enabled.
The web's a lot like nipple clamps.
It hurts a lot when people do it wrong, plus it's hard to explain why you like it in the first place.
It hurts a lot when people do it wrong, plus it's hard to explain why you like it in the first place.
Winter's craze for over-the-knee boots has made it harder than ever to know which ladies are hookers and which ones are pirates.
On the day Curious George finally puts it all together, The Man with the Yellow Hat's gonna wake up to a face full of angry fucking monkey.
If you wear a beret and are at all interested in having intercourse, I'd focus pretty much all of your efforts on other people in berets.
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