To be on that stage with Mr. Jimmy Fallon, Andy Samberg, and Adam Sandler would give me a heart attack #FallonLiveAfterGame

Every time my phone rings my dog gives me a look like who the eff would want to call her #mypetisweird

@sarahmlancaster @joshuaegomez Cap’n Morgan pic.twitter.com/6aAK8c5d

I want my own Jimmy Fallon for Christmas!

Hey #FalPals on Friday at 10:20 am est we're gonna tweet @jimmyfallon and ask him to follow @mc_doubleyoyo. You in?

JIMMY TAKE OFF THAT SHIRT!!! DONT LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! #lnjf

YOLO, Say no-no. Isolate yourself and just roll solo.

@mamalukapr @landfishes :P http://t.co/BoWEdI2h

#thingslongerthankimsmarriage that effin' wedding special

Thought about actually going to sleep but then I turned on the tv to see @nerdist! #websoupmarathon pic.twitter.com/YdXoK0ky

"Praying is just making a sandwich with your hands."- @clomemalone

SNL was perfect. I give it two vaginas up!

Hey @mrhoratiosanz is going to be hosting @aots! Yay!

They lowered the age to go to Late Night. Now you only have to be 16.

You can’t say Dong Dong without a smile on your face #london2012

#imsinglebecause I spend more time watching comedy than having a social life

Did The Roots just play Nyan Cat?! #likeaboss #lnjf

@evanluka Happy birthday brother :)

My life would be a lot easier if I’d stop falling in love with celebrity’s

Ruff! Ruff! I'm Andy Cohen! #SaturdayNightLive