Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Thatcher's dead, Fergie's retired and Liverpool are going to win the league. Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp and no wishes left.
*An Icelandic cop knocks on a door* "Mrs Jónsdóttir? There's no easy way to say this. Your husband fell into the volcano Eyjafjallajökull."
Cop pulls me over
"Do u realise how fast u were going?"
"OH MAN,U WERE LIKE ＮＥＥＡＷＷ"
*cop runs off holding imaginary steering wheel*
DAVID CAMERON GOOGLE HISTORY:
- What is Ebola?
- Can you privatise Ebola?
- Can you blame Ebola on previous govt?
- Ukip Ebola policy
Easter, Hitler's birthday and 4/20 all on the same day? Somewhere there's a Christian Nazi stoner with a lamp and no wishes left.
[US Airways meeting]
American Airlines just got a 14yo girl arrested. How do we compete?
*social media manager pulls out USB stick & winks*
⊂(・＿・ ) RETWEETED
| ● ● | MY
＼ ＿＿ ／ RETWEET
The Ched Evans thing is difficult. On one hand, he's an unrepentant convicted rapist. On the other, HE'S AN UNREPENTANT CONVICTED RAPIST.
In tomorrow's Mail, as our reporter is given a full course of chemotherapy after faking cancer, we ask is the NHS wasting taxpayers' money?
Ugh, worst xmas ever. My parents bought me a black iPhone 5 when I specifically asked for the very cup Christ drank from at the last supper.
"Unions shouldn't use 2yo ballot in which tiny % of members voted as mandate for strike" says govt voted for by 23% of electorate 4 yrs ago.
Girl are you my punishment for building that illegal hydroelectricity plant? Because you are dam fine.
Knuckle tatts: P-L-A-N A-H-E-A