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  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Thatcher's dead, Fergie's retired and Liverpool are going to win the league. Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp and no wishes left.

    • 3,464
    • FAVS
    faizzainal93Burds_1WildeThingyGram_is_God_TBcomronicusneumansecondofhernamecharleswrites
    • 8,170
    • RETWEETS
    LennybowMatthew09326337Dr_KendalscytheofreedTwo_Left_TweetPurryKebabEssahlongsdenalias_steven
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    "Why not model for stock images?" they said.
    "What could possibly go wrong?" they said. pic.twitter.com/oF8icpgsqp

    • 4,098
    • FAVS
    RobGlanderrickhimself101theowatt1deanbromleyBrigODonKennyVojBombMissLewisXoTraverseTown
    • 6,610
    • RETWEETS
    RobGlanderdeanbromleywillgilligan2VojBomb4FalksSakenoahrrussellAustinCHowepoopcutie
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    "OK, here are the stats. Make a graph so it looks like gun deaths have fallen since 2005."
    *graph guy sweats* pic.twitter.com/33XZ4823e5

    • 3,157
    • FAVS
    fawaz_shahtravisehyde98SoThingsAndStufcgandersPowlerBarehypnozyzzjustinebowlu
    • 6,387
    • RETWEETS
    kleinschmidttravisVarnyham0tendMarkosCFCtdagarim_uhShadeYphixup
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    .@barackobama great quote, would read again. 👍 pic.twitter.com/NTL6MaePKs

    • 1,820
    • FAVS
    SheeyahsheeFinn_WhovianjuliapamilihplatinumdepotLSmith1982HavokAndHijinkssmeagolsfreeLorin_Martin
    • 3,759
    • RETWEETS
    OfficialChasePthesmartymcflymhutchinjimiworrallIngerHaapasaariPatheticPixelstrevorliterary_lottie
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    *An Icelandic cop knocks on a door* "Mrs Jónsdóttir? There's no easy way to say this. Your husband fell into the volcano Eyjafjallajökull."

    • 3,210
    • FAVS
    DaSalamonderfabulizziptay3JakeSanJuan1Yu_Are_HereIgnorant_IndianChadwickRowanndoeeeee
    • 2,146
    • RETWEETS
    fabulizziptay3zombeatz18Slender_SirndoeeeeehurdingijusTimEdgrensuzapaloozaa
    flashemberbloptCornOnTheGoblinAceMakesWordsUpturnedBathtub101Raceytrash_sleepermichaeljhudsonehchinoLaser_Cat
  • hrtbps
     
    hrtbps @hrtbps

    OK this is definitely the best quote a dad has ever given a newspaper to defend his son from accusations of racism. pic.twitter.com/93kxY0vAff

    • 2,104
    • FAVS
    iainhoeypineplapplebaelmaofollowingelloyacuntLucyGrenvilletanyaa_n_Sandra_Di_
    • 2,861
    • RETWEETS
    zxmbieunicornluciemelsomxdevamithranFK_HHsad_gothsgabtheidiotcelineerorhknlsoni
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    I just don't know why there are so many xenophobic idiots arou- oh hang on, yes I do. I know exactly why. pic.twitter.com/hyRkvhpThO

    • 1,138
    • FAVS
    SimonCesaireOlouislouisOOllymillettPete_Devnickobrienapricotcreamscatbxoajmaitland1
    • 3,287
    • RETWEETS
    SimonCesaireabrook5Nabbyy786BenWalkerCRachiePowersPete_DevnickobrienJillyBoyd
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    What idiot called it  http://UniformDating.com  and not Fuck The Police?

    • 2,027
    • FAVS
    arjan____Al_Pearson11jcub_dKezyloufoxrocks10MissEimsohreallygillianchizmund
    • 2,346
    • RETWEETS
    sttamarafuckdaretweetsmimimanganTPS1973dpp1975oshkoshchrisvernonreesPatrick_Beare
    dubstep4dadsUpturnedBathtub
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Cop pulls me over
    "Do u realise how fast u were going?"
    "No sir"
    "OH MAN,U WERE LIKE NEEAWW"
    *cop runs off holding imaginary steering wheel*

    • 2,427
    • FAVS
    _sChinodakitkatkatia1Quadricycletoothlesslukecollinwelch3fc_rayGavinoLeekirstymckay_
    • 1,622
    • RETWEETS
    teylamademikewaldron115tinatom31TallGlassOTallLauren_NJriverallbaugh17therealholsteinOhThatGingerKid
    sunfilterpainted_eelHella_Raddanjan13DustinAHarkinsmandystadtdavid8hughes
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    DAVID CAMERON GOOGLE HISTORY:

    - What is Ebola?
    - Can you privatise Ebola?
    - Can you blame Ebola on previous govt?
    - Ukip Ebola policy

    • 1,681
    • FAVS
    kieranst3vensonlouis_browneSpeirgunhey_stinaHeatherM_731frankieveralouisebebbs_adieuandy
    • 2,224
    • RETWEETS
    NeurolawGuymoremilkplsBramptoneaglejonathan_coxjackkmichdavidbenefield1LiamAlexander10Rachel_Cable7
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Easter, Hitler's birthday and 4/20 all on the same day? Somewhere there's a Christian Nazi stoner with a lamp and no wishes left.

    • 2,251
    • FAVS
    tejanoheatBlindChowEmilyCarson3ztrsteevomtoriaAdamBecketlionfacemusicsam_samtilston
    • 1,598
    • RETWEETS
    AlexSmurphyvomtoriaWoddisTomcezzTransientBanditmarahaggeflashemberaarongreen_
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    [US Airways meeting]
    American Airlines just got a 14yo girl arrested. How do we compete?
    *social media manager pulls out USB stick & winks*

    • 1,837
    • FAVS
    DukeRaccoonTylerRuyakParagadeSamajoooooonahfaralayWildeThingyBackpackerBooieDannyF147
    • 1,809
    • RETWEETS
    omaratharrisonTertiaryFriendmissrobynalice50degreesamJSLauderdalezakattaxuCarterJayanEimearor
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    ∧ ∧
    (・_・)っ SOMEONE
    (っ /
    Lノ┘

     ∧___∧
    ⊂(・_・ ) RETWEETED
     ヽ ⊂二/
     (⌒) /

    /        \ 
    |  ●    ●   | MY
    \   __ / RETWEET

    • 1,417
    • FAVS
    soIidgolddottymurfOriginalAsifrolfesmBONER_POWER_420GrindleyTomdshellard_thecharlotteem
    • 1,371
    • RETWEETS
    soIidgoldgeorgemckay_mrmurphsterKoochykoohdshellard_ThatgirlnoacoldnwindySankofaMind
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    The Ched Evans thing is difficult. On one hand, he's an unrepentant convicted rapist. On the other, HE'S AN UNREPENTANT CONVICTED RAPIST.

    • 1,179
    • FAVS
    missmcphailastuartpypertaylorp0rkpennygrayyageatontomorrows_girlsFSpickernellmichael_meowmix
    • 1,433
    • RETWEETS
    astuartpyperflomatthews_georgiamtracyrosselsewhereCharina4287KavitaarrSonal_x_leesh
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    In tomorrow's Mail, as our reporter is given a full course of chemotherapy after faking cancer, we ask is the NHS wasting taxpayers' money?

    • 645
    • FAVS
    billynomatesplanet_shaneDukeRaccoonMikeyWoosterSentFromMyPhoneKillAllHippies_Caparzo8Tomcezz
    • 1,304
    • RETWEETS
    Markymoomoo39GovChamborey9MikeyWoosterherbz16__talkt0night_cantstandmen0w1tsNicoTomcezz
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Ugh, worst xmas ever. My parents bought me a black iPhone 5 when I specifically asked for the very cup Christ drank from at the last supper.

    • 1,090
    • FAVS
    OfficialZacDsoIidgoldRina_ThompcorstejoJgsteadygreensoulProofer3NURSEUNDERCOVER
    • 846
    • RETWEETS
    boredbeckyProofer3Neilone77Leanne_GingeNURSEUNDERCOVERKeironScottciarancolganJgsteady
  • hrtbps
     
    hrtbps @hrtbps

    "Unions shouldn't use 2yo ballot in which tiny % of members voted as mandate for strike" says govt voted for by 23% of electorate 4 yrs ago.

    • 464
    • FAVS
    niamh_mcintyresinead_crosswillknitforwinerabacrabbitagentmancusonaziasmirzasufiboylucyferguson141
    • 1,441
    • RETWEETS
    peetgraycounciltaxbandeagullcryrabacrabbitPompeyTim69fanoffikasufiboyMerylORourke
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Girl are you my punishment for building that illegal hydroelectricity plant? Because you are dam fine.

    • 1,051
    • FAVS
    kathrynhaydonMillieJackson77aokarimgeorgiewbuEmmetPurcellmikewaldron115jestcoastDonnie_Fairburn
    • 696
    • RETWEETS
    mattmoody17WarAndSetPiecejloepromikewaldron115BillyGunn_heyitszanaaCaptainKrikyJamieIovino
  • hrtbps
      hrtbps @hrtbps

    Knuckle tatts: P-L-A-N A-H-E-A

    • 880
    • FAVS
    jgbillingsleyscndpengtom_wigmore__ryanarthur96dafyddnantGoonerJDKbruiseddd_SheDoneGood
    • 808
    • RETWEETS
    dafyddnantshaykerinsSheDoneGoodnishadtrivedichocolatbear44AodhanMullanAFChit_88gunnerpunner
    WildeThingyWhiskeySoured__AceMakesWords
@hrtbps

@hrtbps

| ˈhɑːtbiːps |