Check out my cat-like reflexes! *Sits motionless staring at the wall for 10 minutes, then naps all day*

I haven't watched it yet but I heard Kanye West is excellent in Game of Thrones

It's the remix to Ignition / Protected Wi-Fi edition / when you set up your network / use 64-bit encryption

Retweet if you are passionate about human rights, or if you are wearing a jaunty hat (but not both).

@seinfeld2000 Gerj (jimm carree) last man on erth after apoccalisp. makes sex w krunk's corps. makes puppits from jerm and erma's heds.

@michaelianblack Miller's Crossburning #racistcoenbrothertitles

More like Bradley Pooper *Confetti falls from sky, I get key to city and my own TV show* Wow I feel like Betty Poop! *it is all taken away*

CERN convention: Physicist walks on stage, grabs mic. "Higgs Boson, bitches!" Drops mic, throws research paper into crowd, leaves stage.

"I can totally solve this crime! I just need to stand where I can get some bars on my iPhone, hold on a sec..." -Wikipedia Brown

"I pity the fool that don't know the difference between Earl Grey and English Breakfast." --Mr. Tea

It's pretty cool that after Paul & Mary retired that Peter just picked right back up with Bjorn & John.

Hello, I am doctor. *Hits you in the knee with hammer, you scream* Hmm. *Hits you in the other knee* Diagnosis: Two broken knees. $2000 pls.

blah blah ironic detachment blah blah celebrity namedrop blah blah gore. thanks for reading, love bret easton ellis #LastLinesFromGreatBooks

It's the remix to Ignition / teenage Mormon edition / I'll see you in three years / when I return from my mission

"there's not enough drops on this motherfuckin canvas!"--Samuel L. Jackson Pollock

@spergers don't forget: Dharma Initiative & Greg • 3rd Butt from the Son • Boyd Meets Woyld • That Show Is Set In The 1970's • Seinfeld

I don't understand, why is it called Random Access Mammaries if none of the songs are about boobs?

Hey what gives, I ordered a jerk chicken sandwich - this is just Dax Shephard smiilng at me between two slices of bread?

Conga Police, arrest this man / His world percussion is making me feel sad / And his white dreads look smelly, oh...

Welp, these fries aren't gonna eat themselves! *gasps in horror as fries sprout teeth and cannibalize each other, ketchup lookin like blood*