#mygirlfriendnotallowedto have dreams.. Your dreams came true when you met me

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone. I shoved my hoof into a goat. I neighed, I hit a swan

I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.

*wakes up*

*checks twitter*

*shows up 16 years late for work*

Don't tolerate people who keep bringing up your past mistakes. If Allah is willing to forgive you, who are they not to?

The young bucks at work lift their leg up to flush the urinal with their foot. I got my leg up halfway and sharted and pulled a hamstring.

The 5yo is in the bathroom screaming and punching the walls. I asked if she was okay and she yelled "GO AWAY. I HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN."

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto speak to other boys on the phone. If she call the police and a man answers she better hang up and try again

#MyGirlfriendNotAllowedTo do algebra 📝📏📚. She don't need to know how to find her "X".

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto speak to another male Idc if you're lost & need directions you better get on your knees & ask Jesus to guide you”

Listening to Wham! in the bad part of town.

Back off bitch, I know Tae Bo.

Let's not discuss just how many times I've listened to Careless Whisper today, okay?

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto breathe air. Other guys breathe air. I don't want another man indirectly all up in her respiratory system

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto have candles on her Bithday cake, wtf you wishin for? I thought all your dreams came true when you meet me 😂😂

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto breathe, when you breathe in your chest expands. Who you pushing your chest out for? Answer me

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto have legs. where she think she goin? out this relationship? i dont think so.

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto do algebra📝📏📚. she don't need to know how to find her "X".

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto Sneeze in public. Cause then you mfs gone bless her. No need for that she already blessed with me

#mygirlfriendnotallowedto break up with me unless she has a 20 slide power point, thesis statement, 6 essays, and a letter from God.

Chris Martin never talks about movies in interviews because he doesn’t want to admit his favorite film is “the last 15 minutes of Se7en.”