I formally accept your apology for party rocking.

Think of all the time you've saved in your life by stopping the microwave early.

Where true <3 starts RT @rare_basement Thank you @dudehugs for Breaking Bad season four and your fantastic artwork !!!! http://t.co/1P7ollWu

Guys that tuck their ears into their hats scare me.

Interpret. of @woodmuffin  http://twitter.com/woodmuffin/status/293477629875597314 …

 http://soundcloud.com/hxchero/http-twitter-com-woodmuffin …

Why haven't Diplo and Macy's teamed up yet? I'll take that Nobel prize now

Now everyone in the bar has a boner

Im rubber, you're glue, let's have sex

Girls won't date me because my medical condition requiring me to beat Through the Fire & Flames on expert before intercourse

Now I have a boner

*wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy* *eats super nachos for dinner* *goes to sleep feeling like Biggie*

RT if you'll never forget that when Pope Francis was elected you were on a toilet

Bachelorette party just showed up to this bar with an inflatable doll and it has a boner

Oh, Mickey you're so coarse, you're so coarse I puked my jorts hey Mickey

RT @beebee880 #ff @beebee880 rt this

@dudehugs AYYYEEEEE AYEEEE AYEEEE OWWWAHHH AYYYEEEEE AYYYEEEEE, OWAAAAHAAAA OAAAAAAAHAYAEEEAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

@pizza_shaman I figured how to prove once and for all that God exists - I ordered Pizza from my phone.

Who wants to STD test Harry Potter fans tonight? I'll bet they all have genital Voldemorts.

Then you have Genghis' least known son, the highly immobile, midget ginger known simply as "LeperKahn"

If you can't believe how Tim Lambesis could do something like he's been accused of doing, date someone