My daughter is dancing on the coffee table, she must've learned that from her fathers gf...

That part where you wake up, realize only half of it was real, and are glad that you dont have to explain yourself because noone else knows

When you finally look up and realize the one you thought knew you the best, and understood, knows absolutely nothing about you..

That sucks

I think I just need someone to hold me for a while, rock me, tell me it IS ok to let it out

Kinda sick of of hugging and talking to myself.

..... Just found a spider in my cleavage.... That?

That right there tells you how little action the girls get....

I just realized that I remember most ppl I knew when I was high school age as their screen names..... Cheetos, raven, spliff, pshyco puppy..

You know all those little things about yourself that you want to change?

Don't

Those are the things I love the most :)

New twitter insult... "go starfuck yourself!"

Look, I'm a very insecure person...

I'm on twitter for the validation, and when you guys don't respond to my tweets, I get sad.

If you star your own tweet, that's kinda like fucking yourself right?

Is there such a thing as a sub-re-tweet?

Decided I'm teaching my kids how to make their own bows and arrows this weekend. Cuz they need the practice for the zombie plague. Ya know?

THIS is how you know a true Florida girl... Can peel any orange with the peel in one piece http://t.co/4lrKNOI1

Desperately need a hug.... No questions, just a hug....

I've gone 6 hours without someone tweeting @ me, starring, rting, following, anything. My wine and I are feeling lonely :/

Vaaaaacation!!!!!!!

I've just realized I've unconsciously put myself on a liquid diet since I've been sick... Chicken broth, juice, water.... That's it...

Hey guys? I only need 7 more followers to round it out...

Also im gonna try to round up to 2000 tweets tonight.. Who wants to help?

I need a hug and a gun.... Not sure which one is a higher priority :/

Ok guys, I'm home... Time to spam my vacation tweets!