If you wake up with a chick and you can't remember her name, take her to Starbucks, they'll write it on the side of a cup for you.

@todd_j I think you just broke my mind with how logical that statement was

@adammurfski gotta go for the trifecta and find one named Mary

I have such a love/hate relationship with whiskey.

If they ever wanted to make an Eastern European/Middle eastern Sopranos spin off I've got the location #Hamtramck

Ashley Greene is the only thing I can think of RT @huffingtonpost: 10 awesome things #Twilight gave us all  http://huff.to/XUMmKE 

@chrissyteigen do you talk as much as you tweet? just curious.

Lines of the day "had the BMI of a baby elephant" & "I don't think she was born with a waist" well played @todd_j. Go read @idlyitw idiots

@todd_j that was what I like to call "smooth like mayonnaise ."

I think I'm the only white person I know that doesn't watch Game of Thrones.

People who can't walk a straight line on the sidewalk...I want you to go play in traffic.

@todd_j that T-Swift post was an amazing display of rambling. Somehow you nailed it. All of it. #rambleon

@todd_j I hear gingham is the hot in the streets

@todd_j Ri Ri don't play with those desert thirsty dudes that won't hit her

@adammurfski I see only one "playa"

@todd_j but of course haha

@murfer28 did you open a bottle of whiskey?

No. Way. >> Sex and alcohol make you happier than kids and religion, study finds  http://on-msn.com/U6a5Hu  via @msnnow

#powermove >> Polish Man Blows Up His Own House After Finding Out His Wife And Kids Went To A Picnic Without Him  http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/polish-man-blows-up-his-own-house-after-finding-out-his-wife-and-kids-went-to-a-picnic-without-him/ …

@ukiemafia nooooooo