Government is like a ratchet. The laws are only enacted, rarely repealed. @pennjillette nailed it with that statement. #fuckdst

Ukulele Anthem by @amandapalmer. Listen to it, then pay what you like for a download. Truly a tune for our time. http://t.co/8e5vr0pT

@amandapalmer Starbucks tastes like sadness and regret.

It's lonely in the saddle since my horse died. #fakecountrysong

This has gone beyond a joke. Give @ruth_a_buzzi her checkmark!

Schindler's Grocery List #HorribleSequel

#candyheartrejects I'd drink your bathwater

Every day I'm shufflin' http://t.co/BzlYL2PN

@doctorow Steampunks They are annoying; however they press your trousers real good.

Oh man, I miss my English life so much; however (everything I learned about grammar I learned from you guys), I'll be about @missjackson69

My kids are related! (fist pump) @randygattis

@wendyliebman all of twitter waits breathlessly for when he changes your oil.

Tucker and Dale vs Meanness #smallerfilms

Learn Windows 8 via interpretive dance. #BadWebinarTitles

@paxochka Relevant.  http://xkcd.com/492/ 

@domestich Pineapple on pizza started it and we have never recovered. One day I expect to see a broccoli and raisin pizza....

Newsflash: @domestich stalks DHL drivers now.

@peeweeherman The link has been pee wee'd!

Sad to see @dominos Pizza supports Rush Limbaugh.

We are a wealthfare state. We subsidize the rich by telling the poor to pay their fair share. From Cagle Post. http://t.co/ldo9wZO4