Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The caption bubble above my head contains a gif of me doing the jerk-off motion.
The new American dream is driving your Japanese car to a job you hope doesn't go to an Indian as you distract yourself with a Chinese phone.
I'm only here for the favstar trophies
My inner conservative thinks botched executions are kinda hot.
~ My thoughts today~
If you retweet this I'll kill you
Shoutout to all the people who get stupid @'s when I RT them.
I don't always say I told you so but, when I do, I laugh and add "you stupid, stupid motherfucker."
I really hope we don't have to answer for any of this shit.
I don't want to be elite, I just want a trophy every 30 minutes for saying absolutely nothing.
"UP WITH THEIR MEDS!"
~ Marie Antoinette, M.D.
I exist mainly to irritate the fuck out of as many people as possible.
MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
I ask myself before tweeting: will marginally smart people get this?
*hands son grocery list*
Juddy's funny like a clown
Imagine owning a dragon…now set yourself on fire, because that’s what it would be like to own a dragon.
Are you interested in opening a-
You could sa-
-ve 15% on yo-
I'll gut you.
Cynical, sarcastic asshole, and I'm fine with it, so piss off. I do not like you and I never will. Deal with it. Fuck you.