Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you retweet this I'll kill you
Shoutout to all the people who get stupid @'s when I RT them.
I don't always say I told you so but, when I do, I laugh and add "you stupid, stupid motherfucker."
I really hope we don't have to answer for any of this shit.
I don't want to be elite, I just want a trophy every 30 minutes for saying absolutely nothing.
"UP WITH THEIR MEDS!"
~ Marie Antoinette, M.D.
I exist mainly to irritate the fuck out of as many people as possible.
MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
I ask myself before tweeting: will marginally smart people get this?
*hands son grocery list*
Juddy's funny like a clown
Imagine owning a dragon…now set yourself on fire, because that’s what it would be like to own a dragon.
Are you interested in opening a-
You could sa-
-ve 15% on yo-
I'll gut you.
Ladies, anytime you're mad at your man for doing something stupid, remember that it's your fault for leaving him unsupervised.
It just occurred to me I'm some random Internet asshole.
I take my adderall pill like everyone else, with one redbull at a time.
Watching the World Cup and I just saw 3 players from Team Mexico sneak over the sidelines and start playing for Team USA.
"I’m the best husband ever"
Cynical, sarcastic asshole, and I'm fine with it, so piss off. I do not like you and I never will. Deal with it. Fuck you.