Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You think your life is hard? Just think, there's a turtle out there that has been flipped on its back and it can't get up Fuck your problems
Ironic how I waste my life in the living room.
My "O face" is the same as my "what the fuck we are out of milk, but I already poured the cereal" face.
Australians, do I have the koalafications to visit your country?
Eating clocks is probably the most time consuming thing you could ever do.
Mom: ARE YOU LOOKING AT PORN!?!?
Me: *closes twitter* YES I WAS.
That was a close one, you guys.
If I was a cat, I would be all like "move bitch I'm doing cat things"
Sorry I'm really bad with names when I don't want to fuck you.
"I CHOOSE YOU! VODKA!"
-Alcoholic Pokemon Trainer
Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape.
I need nocturnal friends...or an owl. Actually, yes I want an owl fuck people.
Text: hey how are you? :)
Sext: hey how are you? ;)
The only time I feel like a twitter elite is when I'm on Facebook.
Yay-Z is like Jay-Z but more excited.
❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ likes check marks.
If you don't yell "FOR AFRICA!!!" every time you have a nice warm meal, then you are the reason they're starving.
Twitter: the only place you will ever see a trophy and a pimple argue.
"I'm not the jealous type"
-the jealous type
Fuck bitches, get puppies.
Kill the original green hoodie and the rest will die.