Sex is like McDonalds, im lovin it. Pussy is like Subway,Eat fresh. Dick is like Gatorade, it's in u & this joke is like an STD so spread it

God made coke.
God made pepsi.
God made me.
Oh so sexy.
God made rivers.
God made lakes.
God made you.
Well.. we all make mistakes.

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll. Weed, Speed and Birth Control. Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let's get high

R.I.P to all the virginity's lost on Feb 14th

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

txtn 5 people and you tell 4 of them that your going to bed but theres that 1 person that you stay up txtn even when your falling asleep :)

i will go ape shit on u

apple = health
health = strength
strength = looks
looks = girls
girls = sex
sex = aids
aids = death.
Who wants an apple?

When a girl cries for a guy, it means she really misses him. when a guy cries for a girl, it means no one can love that girl more than him

when i die i wanna sit on the stars and smoke a blunt with Bob Marley(;

Sorry Hun, but, unlike you, Im not the doorknob, where everyone gets a turn. Im more of a casino, where only the lucky 1s, hit the Jackpot

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem sucks
But hey I love you

i wish jenni would give me a pep talk with my problems

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you dont start the conversation, we wont talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

1111 tweet goes to @HeyThereNicolee @ValLuvsBieberx3 @Jasminetastic @heckyesjaybee @ErikaisDTF @JusteenBxo (cont) http://tl.gd/85o35f

@SLBUntilTheEnd @Your_airness @ILIKESEXXXXXXX @JadaBoo2345 @MaryOstrowski LOVE YOU TOOO<3333333

thats fucked up RT @BieberDigits That ain't even cute >.> http://twitpic.com/43hfgl

That awkward moment when someone you don't like sends you a friend request, then you decline. Then they send another one.

Before I die, I wanna have a party with fake alcohol.. and see how many people act wasted.

"Dude she just called you lazy!" "Go tell her I'm not"