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The difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken really wants to cross the road but is paralyzed by knowing that everyone will question his motives.
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world...
Then He made the earth round and laughed...
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 6 inches tonight....I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
People should have to speak with 140 characters or less. No one wants to hear your lengthy stories about constipated you were last Tuesday.
Food for thought: Why suffer trying to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when the best things in life we do naked.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from people with blurry faces. They always seem to attract trouble.
They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
Spent some time in the burg today. Better get tested for #gonoherpisyphilaids
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