Shirt! She broke up with me! Button what grounds? Should I collar? Or jusleeve her?

the population problem in Nigeria Isreal.. we keep Dublin every year.. we have to Czech this! #bantswithcountries

''the S4's camera has the ability to include the photographer in the picture by using the front and rear camera lenses simulteneously''

Balotelli is the kinda guy that would decide to get married then raise his hands when the priest says 'any objection to this wedding'?

'my deer, let's runaway.. where should we goato?' ...'you pig! I cantelope with you'.. *tears* 'OK doe.. don't rabbit in'.

he who finds wifi finds a good thing..

If your boyfriend has not called you since RIM went down, ma'am...you're single.

Ruggedman has a clothing line? i'm sure you guys means a line on where he dries his clothes in the sun..

I'll rather go to bed hungry than use pots and plates that I'll have to wash later..

Alarm clocks... Biggest dream killers.

there's something really wrong with you if you see a fresh bubble wrap and you're not tempted to burst the crap out of it..

sometimes you should wonder how many miles you've scrolled on your phone.

you see 'Andy Whitfield' everywhere on your TL,..yet you tweet 'Who is Andy Whitfield'?... Google is free. Just like twitter.

don't have sex with co-workers!!!.. cos of the awkward staph meetings afterward..

your girlfriend says she wants to go somewhere expensive? take her to a cement depot! one bag is now #2300!!!? She shld be impressed.

"I'm a Man Utd fan" should be a pick up line by now..

a table walks into a bar., 'drinks on me' he says.

sew a girl tried to thread on my ego cos it seams I’m gentle. pls, don’t step on either my tailor head. fear God! He scissors all.

when vendors unite, they pack a Punch..

do you know why frankfurt with his wife? she was cheating with all his france.. #bantswithcountries